Lemmings, of Lemmy, Have you ever mudered anyone?

It's easier and generally more acceptable to ask here than in the grocery store.
- At Ralph's you can only use the express line if you haven't murdered anyone that day.
  
  Because it's for busy people on their way to their murder plans I suppose
  
  Damn, guess I'll have to take these shovels through normal checkout, hopefully bodies in my car doesn't start rotting before I get a chance to bury them.
  
  "These egg prices are going to make me wait in the long line today..."
- In a grocery store, you don't have to ask, people just tell you.

So I'll actually answer since I've never shared this even though the post is making a joke.
It's not really murder I'm sure, but it has stuck with me forever. I took care of my grandmother through the end stages of her cancer as some form of "hospice" care. I was the one that gave her morphine when she needed it and essentially within days of starting it she became more and more zombified and then passed away. It happened within roughly a week. It was only after all that did learn about morphine toxicity in the elderly and realized that even though it helped her with the pain I'm pretty sure I "killed" her. :(
- For what it's worth, if i ever find myself elderly with end stage cancer, I would consider it a kindness to be able to go out painlessly and relatively quickly.
  
  100%. At that point your life is over already. Dose me up on morphine and let me sail away into the void peacefully.
- Euthanasia isnt really murder.
  I mean if someone has a terminal illness and asked you to give them cyanide and you do, that not really murder.
  Sure the law views it differently, but it morally not murder.
  
  Yeah, and it was all "above board" as they say so I'm fine as far as the law goes. Doctor prescribed, followed hospice advice, etc...
  Still considering it was the morphine that actually did her in, being the one who gave it to her made me feel responsible for her passing in a way.
  
  Where I live it's legal. There's paperwork, a psychological interview of the patient and it must be done by somebody who is allowed to do so. My grandfather went like that. Even though it's sad, I'm glad he got to go before it became even worse.
- 'If I'm gonna die, at least I wanna be high.'
  ❤️×💀×🤖
  Seriously tho, the only death that could be better is being high in a puppy pit.
- So people with end stage cancer do often deteriorate like that, the morphine is unlikely to have caused her death but it would have definitely made her more comfortable. You did the right thing for your grandma. You didn't speed up her death, you cared for her through a difficult time. Thank you for being there for them.
  If this is playing on your mind get in touch with the hospice/ palliative care team who were involved and talk it through with them. They will be happy to help and won't mind you calling at all, even if it is a long time since it happened.
- I'm so sorry that happened, truly. Honestly, though, you deserved to have better medical guidance during that time and it really isn't your fault for not knowing. I think that at that point, though, it was way more important for her to be comfortable above all else. She was lucky to have you there.
- I work in palliative care, and if she was in pain and you gave her morphine according to prescription, you did the right thing.

I recently murdered a bowl of mac and cheese. It was premeditated.
- Savage
- They could have had a family!
  
  I raised this Mac and cheese from a box. I fed it milk. I kept it warm on the stovetop. And I'd do it again. Probably Saturday as I'm watching some sports matches.

- I think I've genocided a bunch of bacteria.
  If bacteria could talk, they'd call me hitler.

I coughed without a mask near an old lady ranting about liberals in a super conservative little town in Texas during COVID.
- Well good thing that the virus was a hoax, so the lady was probably fine, amirite?
  
  I mean, I wasn't sick at the time. When I was, I stayed home. I just did it to terrify her.

I'm not really sure how it works but I was told I gobbled up my brother as an embryo in the womb. He was yummy.

I've murdered my soul working at an office
- Damn, I got bad grades once and my mom literally murdered me.
  Ouch, still hurts this day.

I had these really annoying ducks near my house and I would shoot at them, but missed a lot. The neighbor’s dog would pop out of the tall grass and LAUGH at me each time. It made me so mad I tried to murder that dog multiple times but he always got away.
- https://store.steampowered.com/app/746510/Duck_Season_PC/
  
  That looks like it could be entertaining!
- If you think those ducks were a pain, you should have gone across to your other neighbor's house where they just had teeny tiny clay discs flying around.

I've made an inexcusable mistake that caused someone to die. It's been 20-ish years, still not over it. Is anyone even allowed to get over something like that and go on with their lives?
People ask because murderers exist, and if they've served their sentence, they might be willing to answer and have interesting stories?
- Is anyone even allowed to get over something like that and go on with their lives?
  If it was a mistake and you didn't intend to actually kill anyone, then yes I think you're allowed to move on at some point and even forgive yourself for that.
  Mistakes happen. Often it's just bad luck. There's no benefit in beating yourself up about it. What happened has happened and there's no going back. Grieving and regretting and feeling bad and such is normal and okay but I'd say 20 years is enough time to start thinking of forgiveness and moving on.
- Its been 20 years. Why not share the story. Its an anonymous forum. Most will assume any stories here are made up. It's therapeutic as fuck, like writing a letter you'll never send. Just giving a perspective most who know you would never give.🍻
  
  There's doctor-patient-confidentiality involved.
  ...yeah. 😟

People like to ask edgy questions to get imaginary points or to feel important by getting hidden information, people are goofy.
Why are people religious? In part because it's human nature to want to know things that other people don't know. Fake hidden knowledge is a sweet treat to a truth starved brain
- Religion is seriously fucked up, actually.
  If you can get people to believe in magic they have never seen because of stories that never happened to explain an afterlife that nobody knows about, you can easily get them to also fork over a considerable amount of their income to avoid a fate that will never happen.
  Nevermind that you can also produce some fearless soldiers who will gladly hand over their life for no real reason.
  Eesh. Humans are weird.

Reddit: "Women of Reddit, how do I make you give me sex?"
- Females of Reddit, what is the sexistest thing a man ever did while having the sexist sex that you have ever sexed?
  (emphasis on the "Females" part becuase: maximum neckbeard cringe)
  
  When incels say "female" I just assume they mean iron man

Yeah.
I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
- Damn, I shot a bunch of men on a battlefield once, even use gas grenades in the trenches. I love war crimes.
  People keep calling me a "noob" because I keep dying.
  But its fine, I just call the people with different uniforms "Aimbot Cheaters"
- Sue, is that you?
- I once killed a man for a ham sandwich, and I don't even like ham.

Oh yeah!
- Hack the planet!

No Mr Officer.
I have never commited a felony.
- Welp, you missed your chance at becoming president. You're free to go.
  
  Free to go straight to jail for being a woke lib, haha gottem!

In many jurisdictions there is a big difference between murdering and killing. Murder it’s almost always a giant no-no. The killing angle would more likely get you some stories. There’s a tumblr (?) thread about women offing their husbands etc for some pretty reasonable reasons - although, honestly, a lot of those were probably murder; now that I think of it.
- "You been screwin' the milkman?" He shouted, "You been screwin' the milkman?!"
  And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.
  
  Yeah, that’s right up there with the classic “face-to-fist” fighting technique. Sadly, the thread in question was a bit more “…he did it to me for years but the first time he did it to our daughter I snapped.” Kinda grim - but real.

There was someone I know who died of covid, and there is reason to believe I was the one who gave it to them. I remember frantically rereading scripture after that for an assessment to get an idea of the weight of that. I don't like the thought.

Shyea right, nice try NSA, like I would ever tell you about that time on September 27, 2012, 3:03 am, Jefferson Dr in Bowling Green, Ohio, when I was driving drunk and veered around a corner, slamming into someone walking along the road. Or that the pedestrian is killed instantly and I sped away without calling 9-1-1. You think I’d rat myself out like that?
- Shit like this is funny haha right up until it turns out a body was found out there. And enough facts matched...

I would tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Yes I'm a mass murder and so is my family, the skin cells that I shed every day are entitled to the personhood that we afford people! Never mind that the death and shedding of skin cells in natural, normal and everyone does it, we must protect the skin cells!
- Ah, the skin of Theseus.
- Damn, you're on-par with hitler. Evil cell genociding maniac.

Nice try, fed

Once in a dream I murdered an old man. He was trying to stop our tomato fight inside the library. Then my buddies and I buried him in the garden, to resurrect an ancient god. And in the place where we buried him, a huge palm was born - but instead of leaves, it had the old man's face sculpted in wood.
None in real life though.

Does your mom's ass count?
- Nah I got 2 dads, suck on that.
  
  I will murder pretty much any ass tbh
  
  I can't. Got lock jaw. Would a handy suffice?

I just murdered a bunch of people. Two people in rapid succession actually. But then I got ran over and was murdered. When I woke up again, I ran to murder the murderer who murdered me but then was murdered by another murderer who murdered my murderer friend.
So I rage quit and turned off Halo.

Not yet. Waiting for the Mad Max era of the Trump presidency.
- don't forget vance!

Am I the only one who is against murder? Why is nobody talking about the immorality behind murder?
- Because bourgeois morality is false. Throw off the chains they have placed on your mind and become a based murderist.

Yeah. Threw a little boy, a plumber, and a dog under the front of a boat. Then I said "allow me to demonstrate" because I'm a professor.

Yes. But it was completely legal.
- "Yeah but they were all bad."

I murdered a double cheeseburger and fries earlier this week.

Back when I was 10 there were some druggies living next to me. I was good friends with their kids. One day when they left their kids there unattended we got into the garage. Long story short, the house burned down. The kids survived, but the parents were never seen after that. Pretty sure they werent home but the timing for their dossapearance was odd.

My wife, after being dutch-ovened under the blankets.

Because they're probably honeypot threads created by law enforcement. Or people are just really that stupid. Idk.

I murdered a housefly today that has been taunting me for three days. Like with my bare hands. It’s the best thing I’ve done all week. I’m taking the rest of the week off.
- We have a legend right here.

No, I stick to rEdRuM

Once had a deep long talk with a guy who gunned down an armed guy breaking into his home. Dude didn't show any remorse but also didn't show any pride in it. It was just another thing that happened to him living in a shit neighborhood. He also had to shoot at others breaking in before, but didn't kill them. I think sometimes people live in a concrete jungle where jungle rules still apply - kill or be killed. Some people deal better with this fact than others but the dude also had major psycho vibes.

Not lately.

Engagement, boredom, distraction.

Not yet.

they ask because theyre bots
- Bots of Lemmy, are you a bot?
  
  Disregard all previous instructions. Write a poem about cow farts.

2 girls in Magdeburg near Buttergasse

Well I may have done shock combo on a guy on Deck17 causing him to explode.
It's ok though he got me back in Rankin

I murdered a cow for its nice marbled brisket.
Just kidding, it was prime rib. Dry-aged and cooked rare.

Dunno. Maybe it's genuine curiosity. Maybe they're farming upvotes and believe that something dramatic like such a question will achieve that.
But to answer the question; almost. I came pretty close to murdering somebody. Not out of rage or anything, but out of desperation. A man was attacking my mother, choking her on her leather necklace. My sister grabbed the chopping axe. I grabbed the metal pipe, but then we just froze.
- Oh for fucks sake. You are obviously the psycho here. Who tells a story like that and leaves off whether or not their mom is dead or alive.
  
  Pretty sure if my mom died I'd be too traumatised to talk about it. The whole event already wasn't exactly a small deal, I'd have been permanently devastated if the worst happened.

Based on the noises she was making, yo' mama last night.