3mo ago

Is there an age where you decide to just 'let it go'?

Not talking suicide. But, I mean more like an age where you know you won't be dating anybody and that you don't care if you let some of your health slide. Get a little chubby, drink some beers that you never did before, smoke like you never did before when you spent years avoiding the stuff when you were younger.

Stuff like that. I think I might get into smoking when I'm more into my 40s or something. I don't care, life would've long pass me by then, it isn't like I'm going to be a successful individual at 55 or something.

27 comments

Depression can happen at any age, if that's what you mean
- At any age, with any amount of money or success, and with as many or few good people who love you in your life.
  
  Totally. Ruthless, and indiscriminate.
  I try to remind myself that change is inescapable. For better or worse, things will always change. It might not be better, but at least it will be different, which gives me a sick glimmer of hope.

Few people at 45 feel like they're ancient and just need to hurry up and die, OP. Hell, actual seniors think of that as young and virile.
That aside, I've given up on having a proper career at this point. I'm not sure how much I want to go into what happened on my main, but I was pretty much obsessed with making a modest legacy in high school, and I fully expect to just hustle to survive now.

When someone would ask, "Who wants to be 100 years old?" My grandpa would respond, "Ask someone who is 99." I think that applies here. When will you feel like you can give up - well, why not now? What will be different when you're 40 or 50? Why wouldn't you want to be dating? Why wouldn't you want your body to work?

@NeoToasty I'm 70, two years ago started carnivore, Intermittent fasting of 18 - 6. Best thing I've ever done. Cured pre-type two diabetes, cured borderline high blood pressure, dropped my triglycerides divided by HDL ratio from 2.2 down to 0.89, cured ED which pills couldn't fix, lost 25 pounds, healed my body in half a dozen of bizarre ways. So, no, I spent a life letting it go, now I'm going stronger.
carnivore

Things like smoking will make dying a living hell. There's a difference between "dying faster" and dying horrifically in painfully horrific ways that basically end with you pumped with fentanyl until you're dead, and that's if you're one of the lucky ones.
It's way more likely that you'll grow up and realize you've been a lot more unhealthy than you thought, even without drinking or smoking. Like, "oh shit, I'm that majority of Americans who is overweight and it actually has been terrible for my body and I should probably change that if I also don't want to die horrifically."
- My grandfather in law died now at 93. He smoked for a long time. Died of COPD. With modern science and healthcare he could have lived longer. But smoking really fucked up his lungs and his oxygen uptake even from oxygen tanks became so degraded, he just stopped waking up from long naps. Now here's the fun part. He stopped smoking when he was 55. But he started when he was 13. 42 years of smoking. And then afterwards 38 years of not smoking.
  The damage is irreversible.

an age where you know you won't be dating anyone
I haven't been in a relationship for over a decade. It's just not worth it.
That being said I would never smoke. It's the nastiest, most disgusting vice people get into.

Feelin' my way through the darkness
Guided by a beatin' heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well, life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well, that's fine by me
So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was findin' myself
And I didn't know I was lost
From Wake Me Up by Avicii

Well most people get a bit like this after they marry. Are you talking about giving up on finding romance? You can still do it when you’re older but everyone’s gonna be divorced with a kid.
You shouldn’t ever really give up on your health, as you get older you’re gonna need it more and more.
- Yeah, it's like OP is imagining cigarette deaths happen suddenly. They don't; unless you end it fast yourself you'll be like the pictures they put on the packages where I live.

I fear bad health, not cause what other sees, but cause how it will affect my quality of life. I also fear pain. I never feared getting chubby. It was never an obstacle to social interactions. I say eat what you want, don't overdo it. If your doctor tells you to stop, then follow their recommendations. I don't think it's ever a great idea to engage in self destructing behaviour, such as smoking, no matter your age. Avoid messing up your body, and the chances for a happier life goes up.

Old lady here. When you're young (teens, twenties), your body can bounce back from all kinds of abuse - eg heavy drinking, extreme sports. As you age, bouncing back is harder, permanent damage can result. Drinking heavily can kill your liver. Extreme sports can kill your joints. Your fifties is when you need to take stock of your general health and do stuff to support it. Like, not furring up/hardening your arteries with bad habits. Exercising so your muscles can support your joints, all that stuff. It's not a time to take up smoking! Soon enough you'll be in your seventies like me, and still striding about enjoying life thanks to the prep you did earlier.
Having said all that, the only area I can think of where I've "let go" is clothing. I dress purely for comfort these days, fuck fashion.

dunno about when, but I'm probably going to just rack up a fuckload of debt and get fucked on drugs right before I die. If my health continues to somewhat hold up enough to live approximately normally, and the 1% doesn't make the planet unlivable before then, it will be when I'm a decrepit old man. Although I already feel like a decrepit old man so who knows.
I never needed to live like a billionaire, I just wanted to buy a house with the same number of work hours as my parents. Literally impossible. Not even having parental assistance is enough anymore, you need wealthy parents. Or at least two exploitative businesses and a lot of connections but I have -712 social skills. If only real life ng+ but on a different planet and as a species that isn't inherently evil.

Everybody who lives long enough reaches a year when the bucket list becomes the f_(k-it list!

I don't think there's a set age for that. It's probably more of a mindset thing.
I drink, smoke and eat what I want, when I want. Gave up on chasing a new relationship and although it does get a bit lonely and I miss intimacy, I'd say I'm pretty happy where I am.
But yeah, I am in my 40's and have been around the block a few times, so it's not like I've missed out on anything.
But who knows? I might change my mind at some point. I was never too good with monotony and even this level careless freedom might grow stale in time.

I decided to let it go when I was younger. No, thanks, I don't want that shit anymore.

I know it might be an exercise in futility, but I still try to keep my system clean. I like being able to do things and if I drink too much or smoke, that becomes a chore

I'm a little chubby and drink more beers than i should. I'm 40. I'm in a stable relationship, so not on the dating market.
Also, I have similar thoughts about my professional ambitions. I'll neither become CEO nor professor, so why bother. Could I make more? Probably. A more fancy title? Sure. But why I care?

For me, letting go still means I have to take care of myself. There's no set age, it depends on your life journey.

Hike or bike my dude. Getting out in nature makes you feel good.

I feel that im on the way. In 20 years I will be 100% in that mood: giving 0 fucks. Right now still have some fucks to give.

It’s not about being successful at that age. it’s about being comfortable. The reasons to take care of your health only increase with age.

Maybe a slightly different take on your thoughts, but you could see the feeling in a lighter way as well. As for the beers, why not get into home brewing? I've been doing it for a few years now and it's really fun. I appreciate the drink and the effect more now. Same goes for smoking, although I would recommend getting into dry herb vaporizers. The taste and effect is so much better. I get what you're saying, and some of the other comments, but letting go can also just be seen as being more at peace with yourself. You can use substances to discover a different side of yourself, and not necessarily a bad one. Anyway, take it easy, approach life the way you want to and enjoy the ride while it lasts.

I'm in my mid 40s and I care about things more and have more experience and context to understand everything. I definitely wouldn't start smoking, I actually am taking better care of my health now because I don't want to be sick for the last 30 years of my life like all the boomers. By virtue of posting to lemmy you are statistically likely to live into your 70s so I think your understanding of what old is or how bad you feel when you mistreat yourself is way off.

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