Egg🖥irl [Transfem]

Panel #7: Regret
"Why did I take so long to get here?"
- You're here now, and that's pretty awesome!

Confused enby here, what does re:zero have to do with this?
- I was going to ask the same. Like I know Fenix is a character, but not a big enough character
- Also, once you realize you're an enby you kinda live in several of these stages at once.
  
  Denial ("I feel comfortable being addressed and seen as a guy, so I can't be enby")
  Anger ("Why do people always ignore the 'it' in 'it/he'?")
  Bargaining ("I just care a lot about respecting pronouns, so that's why I get upset. I'm just doing this to add to enby visibility, because I don't really mind.")
  Depression ("I suppose people just don't like referring to humans with pronouns normay used for objects, that's just how it is")
  Acceptance ("Okay I definitely feel good about being called 'it', so I'm probably agender")
  Bargaining again ("Maybe I'm some in-between? Not really cis, but not really enby either?")
  Proceeds to cycle between Denial, Bargaining, Acceptance and Bargaining again, with Anger and Depression playing a constant tug-of-war as backdrop
  Insert meme of mother yelling at her kid "Why can't you just be normal", but it's me yelling at my Identity "Why can't you just be simple"
  
  I mostly exist beyond this menial earthly scale but do on occasion return to anger and depression quite frequently. Mostly due to being purposefully misgendered. I'm not a girl, and not transfem, I don't have a gender
  Denial was never a thing I went through, ever, I am indeed happy and comfortable with being called a boy, even though I'm not really. I still say I'm a femboy because that describes my experience of dressing up and being cute. Doesn't mean I am a boy.
- No idea. I didn't make the meme, but my guess is it's a reference to a sliver of time in r/egg_irl's history where every other post was Re:Zero themed.
  
  Oh yeah the whole thing with Felix. I remember that 😬.
  I'm not surprised that would make someone angry, as someone agender who does identify with the femboy experience it did make me a bit angry, especially when people said it made me a girl (egg prime directive wasn't practiced much back then). Though thankfully things have gotten better these days (here I mean, not on Reddit, I haven't touched Reddit).

#5 Depression
Haven't started E yet Worried that it will become hard to get like ADHD Meds, also worried about my ADHD getting worse after E 🙍🏻‍♀️
- My ADHD got better after e, but I also needed to lower the dosage. If the dosage was too high, taking meds had an opposite effect.
  
  There's a fascinating reason! Estrogen has a profound impact on your brain!
  In addition to being one of the main hormones that is responsible for regulating the female reproductive system, estrogen also plays a role in cognitive function. It modulates the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. These neurotransmitters help with focus, concentration, mood, and memory.
  That's why when a ciswoman with ADHD has a massive dip in estrogen (my body will essentially suddenly stop production of estrogen to trigger a period) their symptoms drastically worsen.
  And why a person taking e might find their ADHD symptoms lessen!

nyaaa <3
- You want headpats? Come here! 🤗

Stage #6
- Congratulations 🎉👏
  Cutie ! Headpats!
  
  :3
- gives headpats ;3
  
  :3

Stage #7 trying to find someone who will date me lol
Doing pretty well otherwise! :)

Stage 5: I both know that I'm a girl and am consistently too depressed to do anything about it. Hrt is hard to get where I am and tbh I don't have the energy to fight back against the world as they crush my spirit every day.
- Affirming my gender is necessary for me to have the energy to get out of bed. I was literally nonfunctional before I came out. Starting and staying on e has been the driving force in my life for the past year. Why fight for myself if I hate who I am?
  
  At the moment I'm not allowed to be even slightly feminine, as for why I fight tbh I feel like I've given up.

Stage 5. I have persistent and horrible dysphoria from my voice which I know will never pass as a girl without voice surgery. Which I'll probably be unable to get for quite a while.
Maybe I should learn sign language and say I'm mute. I'd rather be mute than have a horrible masculine ass voice.
- I personally feel the same, but I'm still interested in voice training on the grounds of using it to fuck with people 😆
  Testosterone fucked me harder than the government as far as my voice goes.
  
  I did voice training for years and even though I did get good I was never able to pass. People who are trans supportive say my voice sounds feminine to be nice to me but I know it doesn't pass because I got second opinions anonymously from people who didn't know I was trans or at least whether I was masc or fem. They all said my voice sounded masculine, even though I was trying as best I could do to sound feminine.

I'm number four, except that for me it's actually just a fetisch, right? 🤷
- Would you want to be a girl in nonsexual situations? When driving to work or sitting alone, would it still be fun to be feminine? You can definitely live as a man and have sex as woman, but would you be disappointed if that's all it is?
  
  I'm comfortable living as a man, and before I imagined myself as a woman in sexual situations I had never thought about it. I think I'm a bit ignorant as to what affect gender has on nonsexual situations. Like how does having boobs or not change anything when you're just sitting alone?
  I just don't think I care that much about my body either way.