I’ve almost lost my voice, but I am seriously emotional. Seeing Black live has always been a wish of my mine and tonight it came true.
I am so privileged.
I've only just managed to load my car with a full, penultimate load of stuff (and a fucking busted tyre still in the back lol).
All the little jars of spices, the oils and vinegars, random pantry odds and ends, the unbelievable amount of stuff in the bathroom, other stray items like a random desk lamp and bits in various containers just dumped into a box... couch accoutrements...
Had a shower in the old place, thankfully had the foresight to leave a change of clothes out, finally eating my only real meal for the day. I'm going to go straight to the other place, slap a sheet on the mattress and call it a night.
Chuck a sickie tomorrow, start moving stuff up, get tyre organised, clean old place with friend...
I'm seriously laughing at how much I underestimated this. Next time I'll start packing WAY earlier and take more time off!!
i am so full of enthusiasm that I have to stop myself from starting everything at once.
I'll just start one new thing a week and let that become a new norm.
@CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone Oh dear. Turns out I don't recommend original soju. Realised I didn't actually drink it, so poured a shot tonight and oh god no. No. It's like 17% and just... punches you in the throat. Definitely stick with the flavoured ones. I now know why the people in kdramas grimace!
Well, the assignment is done and submitted. It's not very good. Hopefully it is enough to pass.
I really have no interest/enthusiasm for this subject, but it is compulsory in the diploma. I guess I just see how I go half arsing it and if I fail try to kick myself into trying a bit harder next go around.
Seed site has cheap seeds… but space.
I’m really upset that the neighbours planted tough invasive grass that took over my small yard as well so I can’t plant anything outside of pots.
Not even the weed mat I put down when I moved in could stop it. There’s no way I can dig it up now and keep it back… that was kind of inconsiderate and rude.
Hahahahahahahahahaha fuck me, of course I had to be careless and hit a kerb so hard I got a flat tyre on top of everything else... perfect timing...
Luckily roadside assist came very quickly but now I need to get a new tyre within 2 days 😭 anyone have tips on how to find a good tyre shop? I have no frigging idea. Need it done pretty quickly...
I feel like I’m leaving it a bit late if I want to sow sugar pumpkins. I just wonder if I should take more physical work on because the initial filling and moving of the pots is gruelling and risks injury…
I just need something to do right now that engages me without urgency and gently keeps me moving.
If I were physically able and it was safe to I would be doing physical work or taking walks/going for runs just to destress.
Hm. I could get a punnet of cherry tomatoes for their seeds but I would have to order the mini pumpkin seeds and I still haven’t worked out what to do around theft prevention. I could ask someone to get it for me and they’re happy to but I hate adding to someone else’s plate.
I’ve decided that if I get stuck I can borrow some of the pvc pipes from the cat enclosure to serve as stakes. Since I haven’t been using it. They’re UV resistant and can still be used after the zucchini are finished fruiting, and if not I can just get more pipes.
just need to get this out but no obligation to read it
I feel really alone right now. I feel like I am drowning at work and my general exhaustion level is so high I am not catching up there or at home. I am wrought with anxiety and I have kinda lost the will to push through. There are so many big things to be done and I am stuck on details. And every time I make time someone else has a problem and I get dragged sideways.
And it's hard to push through when I feel like the world is a mess anyway. What good can I really do? Am I just burning myself out in a corner for nothing?
For reasons the work situation is not a "can you talk to your manager and ask for XYZ" one...what I am carrying is legit mine but I am struggling.
I am just dead sick of being the grown up and the strong one for others right now. I want to go home....whatever that means.
God bless chilled out movers. Everything went flawlessly and they were such nice guys yet efficient and professional. The perfect thing for one of life's most stressful times.
One more item gone on FBM, another one pending... LL has finally emailed to say how she wants the keys dropped off - thankfully the agency's only a 15 min drive off peak from work, I could nip over during lunch and come back.
Need to catch my breath a little and eat something... then time for more ferocious packing and loading shit into my car.
ffs, I thought out how I would do some of my task/life admin organising/planning and now my brain is stuck.
i think my upbringing is messing me up atm.
Old man was/is a sub specialist looking after acute disease / end of life stuff. Emotion is completely out the window when it comes to care (shit needs to get done with a clear mind). I was on the phone from about 13yo speaking to these patients when he wasn't home (which was a lot) and all I could do was listen to that fear. They just wanted someone to hear them (emotionally). Used to go on rounds with him and he has a very good bed side manner, but once out of the room back into get shit done mode.
Seeing mum in her chair just staring at the ground depressed is heartbreaking. Asking me to read texts from buds is heartbreaking. Her telling me the old man hasn't said a nice word since (he's in doc mode) is rough. I'm sort of caught between being someone she can speak to with emotion, but then I have to switch my own on and off depending on what needs to happen. When you leave the room it's a tidal wave of the realisation of a new reality for her.
All my discussions with the old man are clinical (and it needs to be), but I can see a few cracks in his demeanour which is.. unusual and.. heartbreaking (and telling).
I don't really have hope that her vision will recover beyond where it is now. But flipping emotion on and off like this is something I've never done.
ABC news has a story that Alan Jones has been arrested on indecent assault charges spanning 20 years. About time.
Yesterday my dad called me a loser because I am underemployed right now. I am looking for another job that fits with the uni break, asking managers for more shifts, trying to better myself by actually having hobbies for once in my life and doing things with friends. Yeah, I still don't wake up super early, and yeah, I'm not happy with my life either, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere, after years of fighting battles in my mind and making shitty decisions.
Then you've got my twin sister who has had a full-time job even when she was studying, has a mortgage and her life is work, and she can get through each day without having to reassure herself that she's going to be fine. Most people my age aren't lucky enough to be in this position, but somehow this is the standard I'm expected to uphold. No one says it, but just by the way people in my life baby me around, I can tell that that's the way they want me to be.
/ end vent with lots of cognitive distortions
I'm going to try to squeeze one more day of leave from work. Considering I'm not taking a break over Xmas, I feel like 4 days of leave isn't a huge deal.
Let's see what happens lol
Used airtasker for the first time today. Damn this is useful and convenient! Listed The Couch of Doom to be removed for a pretty reasonable price and 4 offers within 45 minutes. Now booked in to be taken tonight by someone who seems really lovely and will actually use it too and not just take it to the tip. Sure the connection fee is pricey but the stress relief is monumental...
I've put together everything that the movers need to take away now - just need to give the fridge and tv console a wipe down. Let's hope to fuck that they can actually carry everything up to the new place with its narrow staircase, I will be fucked if they can't fit it in (I guess airtasker to the rescue again to take stuff off the footpath asap 😂)
Yesterday I was in my lounge room and I heard water running so I cocked my head, went into the kitchen and realised FUCK ITS THE LAUNDRY. So I sprint in there and turn the tap off. My washing machine had sprung a leak. First thing i did was take off my socks because ick. Water everywhere. Luckily it didn't reach the hallway carpet. Cleaned it up. There was swearing but atleast I know I run towards danger, didn't panic and my hearing is still good.
Good news is I defrosted my freezer so I get to pack it with frozen goods from Aldi today.
Woke up today in a panic.
I totally forgot to turn on all my alarms again after taking the day off on Friday.
Thank god I woke up when I did but I'm a little worse for wear today, I think hayfever has gotten a hold of me and the headache I had yesterday didn't help.
Anyway on with today!
If bowling for soup wrote 1985 today with the same time gap it'd be about 2005. So someone made that song.
If ya'll need to take a moment I dont blame you.
A quote that made me laugh yesterday "Delulu is the solulu" 🤣
I've had a weird spot on my hand that I've had for 8+ years randomly heal and also a lump on my leg that I've had for 20ish years also randomly heal.
Do I go see my GP or Charles Xavier?
I’ve been downloading pics from social media in preparation for that age verification bill to come into effect because I don’t want to give these companies my ID. I should get back to it tomorrow when I’ve had some rest.
I’ve put on there that people can send me their deets if I don’t have them. If they don’t do it by the time it’s been confirmed it’s going to come into effect I’ll drop an email address in their messages and leave. Then the ball is in their court.
I wish I’d done that and deleted my profile before everything got AI scraped with no choice to opt out. (Not kidding, your photos got grabbed and Australians didn’t get the opt-out.)
I’m looking into a VPN too. I should have sorted one years ago but you have to make sure it’s not shady.
And yeah people say it won’t happen but they’ve said that about a lot of stuff that did.
Edit: I don’t really care about the major players. At least most of them. But what concerns me is if this affects things like YouTube and places like Lemmy or Reddit. Or independent old school forums. Whirlpool. I could manage without a YouTube account I guess but don’t want to lose another place or Lemmy.
I wonder if it applies to online games.
Edit 2: Also one of the options being discussed for this is face ID. Yeah nah get fucked.
I never had enough brain cells to become one of those privacy buffs but I’m seeing data harvesting and theft get so much worse and really should learn
Currently in an annoyingly weird sleep pattern. I do not want to be wide awake at 4am unless it's from still being out at 4am, which this is most definitely not.
I’m kind of upset that a directly adjoining neighbour planted tough invasive grass that came under the fence and overran the few patches of soil I have. It was actually kind of inconsiderate and rude. If it wasn’t there I could have scraped out small holes with a trowel for some seedlings and let the growing plants do the rest. As it is I won’t be able to get rid of it and keep it back without a lot of physical work that I’m too disabled to do.
(I am scared to go out there for reasons involving being harassed but if it was occasionally for a short burst to do a task it wouldn’t be so bad.)
So now I have a jungle of long grass that I didn’t want and can’t maintain, get judged for and don’t even have a green bin to dispose of the clippings when and if I cut it with scissors. Anything I try to plant would be choked.
(I put down weed mat years before it invaded but the grass grew straight through it, which would compound the difficulty of its removal now. I don’t want to use poison. And I don’t hire help for a very good reason.)
How have I still not finished packing?! Although at least the remainder is all sorts of bitsy things in various containers. Ran outta packing tape, too...
Gonna have a hard stop for the night. Though I've had to jump out of bed after realising i forgot to drain and disconnect the washing machine. Hopefully it'll be dry enough by 10am! Goodnight everyone.
