Some DnD realism

I think most people (myself included) really like the idea of DnD more than the game itself.
- DnD is a fine game.
  But in my opinion, there are so many better roleplay systems.
  
  Also, D&D has a lot of baggage these days.
  A friend has been talking about starting a D&D group ever since BG3 dropped and I already have a matching character concept complete with partial backstory. However, between the OGL fiasco and the dubious plans WotC have for D&D 6e I really don't feel like buying the required book or pushing my friend to get his campaign worked out.
  
  Do you have some favorites?
  
  DnD somehow tries to sell itself as a combat simulator. And yeah, it's combat system is more fleshed out than many other roleplaying systems, but at the end of the day a lot of the combat interactions are down to the DM to decide so it ends up being a normal roleplaying game with the occasional stumble into a waste-deep muck or rule interactions for what ended up being almost no reason.
  
  I haven't explored other options yet but after DMing I've definitely started to make homebrew rules to try and take some of the silly rules out of the picture. Some RAW stuff and playing with rules lawyers really takes the fun and momentum out of trying to get newbies into the moment. Also doesn't help when some folks have terrible attention spans.
- I love the idea of DnD, but every group I've ever played with just made it such a drag. I've never had fun actually playing it. So now I follow the memes and that's about it.
  Oh, and the Mann Shorts videos about DnD. I would totally play with those guys.
  
  What parts of dnd are fun to you, and what about other players made it a drag?