What's your "old person" trait?

I think that a basic lifestyle should be affordable for a basic person
- Found the left-wing extremist! /s
  
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- i’m gonna go one further:
  i think everybody should be allowed to live a decent enough life, whether they can work or not.
  
  I'll go even further and say that meeting the needs of a population is the only point of having a society at all.
  
  I don't think that is an old person trait. You are just secretly Nordic.
  
  One further, and one better
- Crazy how that is an unpopular opinion these days
- As a very basic person, I agree
- All this automation should mean that there's less work to do for everyone's needs to be met. Not sure where all this scarcity came from.

My OPT is that you should be able to buy and own your software instead of perpetually renting it.
- My old person trait is that I think we need less acronyms
  That said I do agree with you
  
  My old person trait is to inform people that they meant to say "fewer."
  
  Haha. I typed it that way out of laziness, sorry 😺
- Come to open source... you don't have to rent or buy software. Find yourself a good alternative.
  
  Thanks!
  I've been a happy Linux user since 99 and Mandrake was my first distro 👌
  Still, the only piece of (subscription-based) software that's keeping me from deleting the windows partition: Premiere pro 🤡
  
  Thanks for that link. Honestly. I think an old thing is that I’ve gotten used to convenience and a going through a list like that sometimes doesn’t seem worth the time even though I know deep down that it is.
- And this is why I buy still buy copies of 2015 Office from eBay
  
  I'm so goddamned sick of Microsoft and its greedy bullshit. I just looked at a recent KB update from them and the article must have breathlessly mentioned the word "subscription" 50 times.
  After years of being a MS corporate stooge type, I finally started messing around with LibreOffice. It can read MS Office files. Check it out if you haven't already.
- You can. I think it's called "pirate bay", but don't quote me on that. ;)
  
  When I was younger I would be there with you. Now as I’m older I just want it to work and the Pirate Bay is hit or miss sometimes.
- I don't think you can "own it" in the traditional sense, but I'd be ok with a software purchase being a perpetual license for the specific version you purchased.

My old person trait is that none of the things mentioned in the linked image happened on accident.
They happened because capitalism doesn't give a fuck about anything except bleeding as money as conceivably possible out of each and every human.
Apps allow companies to suck more data out of your device than a website, allowing them to sell more of your data and... make more money.
Video games needing access to the internet is simply Digital Rights Management and a way to prevent piracy and... make more money. Remember, most companies view something pirated as a "lost sale," not that you would have never purchased it to begin with. As Gabe Newell once said:
“We think there is a fundamental misconception about piracy. Piracy is almost always a service problem and not a pricing problem,” he said. “If a pirate offers a product anywhere in the world, 24 x 7, purchasable from the convenience of your personal computer, and the legal provider says the product is region-locked, will come to your country 3 months after the US release, and can only be purchased at a brick and mortar store, then the pirate’s service is more valuable."
This one speaks for itself. Being able to be in control of the products you buy is freedom. Having products controlled remotely by a corporation is giving them carte blanche to make more money off of you.
Removing accessible customer service means more people will just give up on trying to get their problem solved, effectively allowing the company to steal from people and... shocker... make more money.
I agree, in theory, in respect to ghosting, but we live in a society that teaches us to be isolated, and doesn't teach interpersonal skills unless the interpersonal skill is "Fuck you, got mine." (which is, not surprisingly, a thing about making more money.)
In other words, these aren't old people opinions. These are "I'm not gonna let capitalism absolutely fuck me endlessly" opinions.
- At least in Europe I suspect those of us who grew up before neoliberalism took over in the 80s have a different take on the normality of the whole "being treated as a mark to scam money of 24/7" thing...
- In terms of piracy, I wonder how much could be prevented by having demos, like Factorio does
  
  Demos used to be everywhere back in the day! I think they have a huge impact, because it's a way to try to play a game without dumping all the money on it without knowing what the gameplay is like and if its actually fun.
  When I was a kid, DOOM having the first episode of the game available as shareware was huge and I used to walk to my friends place after school and watch him play until he would get bored and let me play for a while.
  From an old interview in 1999 with John Carmack about this very subject (emphasis mine):
  Carmack: DOOM 2 was explicitly a commercial release. We sort of half heartedly did some shareware distribution with Quake, but I think the industry has almost unanimously decided that the three or so level demo is the best test vehicle.
  A lot of people consider themselves to have "finished DOOM" when they just finished the shareware episode.
  
  Funny how Steam has been making sales and events around demos for a while (called Next Fests) and some games absolutely blow up out of nowhere thanks to them.
  Also some people think FF16 having a demo was some weird, oddball marketing move by Square Enix, except they have been making "try now, continue later" demos for games since Bravely Default.
- Where do I sign up to buy the awards around here?
  Kidding…great post, tho
  
  That's what the emojis are for. Unlike the shitshow most of us just came from, here it doesn't cost real money to add a tiny picture of 🏅 to a comment.
- It's specifically capitalism driven by GDP. Capitalism is bad but adding GDP is like removing any ethic and moral compass.
- Well said, I'm going to save this for when my friends inevitably say something about it and I have to explain why the economy, expessially in the US sucks and why I might eventually leave
- Lol

I think cars should not be dependent on a touch screen for ANY of it's functions (or really have one at all). They are more difficult to use than tactile buttons, distracting, and do not receive long term support from the OEM.
What do you do with a 10 year old car that runs but the touch screen nuked due to age, firmware bugs or mechanical damage? Ford isn't going to be selling replacement units 10 years later and I have yet to see an 'infotainment' system that has aftermarket replacement considerations.

My old person trait is that when I purchase a printer, I should be able to use whatever is the cheapest compatible ink without the printer treating me like I'm smuggling unicorn blood out of Narnia

My old person trait is that instructions do not need to be videos.

my old person trait is thinking that all of the above are extremely reasonable expectations and it's a sad world we live in where most of those aren't the case anymore

I prefer written guides to video guides.
Video has some clear advantages when showing off a 3D space and otherwise, but I dislike pausing them over and over. Especially if my hands are covered in oil and grease, a paper version is superior to a screen.

I refuse to use subscription software. If I can't buy it outright, I either use an alternative or take to seas.
- I love software like Lightburn where you just pay a set amount for so many years of updates and support and when it runs out you can choose to leave it like that or buy more updates and support for a smaller fee.
  
  That tactic is used some companies I have stuff from. It's on the razors fucking edge of acceptable to me.

My old person trait is that I think I should be able to have anything I purchased repaired/serviced by whomever I wish, with whatever parts they deem acceptable.
- Right to repair is a human right.

For the love of god stop with the QR code menus. I don’t want to have to scroll up and down a million times to figure out my order.

my old person trait is that you should keep your internet identity completely separate from your real one

My old person trait is I shouldn't have to scan a QR code for the menu at a sit-down where I'm dropping $100 on entrées. Give me a dang physical copy of the menu!

I hate all websites that move things around as they load. If I see a button, that button should stay where it is when I try to click it.

In regards to OP's comment about ghosting, I just want to ask, are you a man? Because women all-too-often have to deal with men who can't take no for an answer, and some of those men go from mad to violent very quickly. You might say "well, no man should act that way, they should be able to hear 'I don't want to see you anymore' and just accept it and move on" but the fact is they are not all able to do that. So should women do the respectful thing and stop ghosting, even though some of them definitely WILL end up being yelled at/attacked/killed?
(I know my example doesn't cover all situations involving ghosting, like for instance if the ghoster is a man. If you want to modify your claim to be 'ghosting is unacceptable, except in cases where having a face-to-face conversation could put someone in danger' then I guess I'd agree with that statement. It's just that it's really hard to know which person will be dangerous when they are turned down.)

As someone who works in a call center, screw that last person on here. So sorry you hate the automated system. Sorry you had to wait on hold. They can't keep enough of us employed because y'all are fucking mean and no one wants to be abused for $15/hr.
Er, I mean, Thank you for calling, sorry about your wait!

An urge to destroy fascism.

Owning physical media > "owning" digital media.

My old person trait is dislike of video-form social media. I consider blaring my phone speakers at max volume disrespectful to those in my surroundings and generally annoying.
Hence why my social media of choice was reddit and is now lemmy+kbin. It's mostly text posts and images.

My old person trait is I hate short-form videos e.g. Instagram reels and TikTok videos. The back and forth boomer vs millenial vs gen z videos remind me of someone who is talking to themself with different personalities.

I think I should be allowed to order food from a restaurant without needing to scan a QR code which requires me to have a smart phone and an active, paid plan in order to access their menu.
- Yes! My OPT is that people shouldn't have their phones out when you're out for a meal. The whole QR code menu thing forces you to start your outing staring at your phone!
  
  Wait, you mean you're sat down AT the restaurant and you need to get out your phone to view the menus???
- I think the move to delivery apps is also a bad move.
  
  I agree. I never understood why having a stranger deliver your food was considered safer than just picking it up yourself during the beginning of covid. That's another person handling your food.
  Not to mention restaurants and drivers get ripped off.
- I'm on the fence about this. On one hand I don't get handed a wet plastic menu someone has just wiped off, or maybe has dried sauce on it. Also it is easier for them to add updates to their menu digitally instead of using a sharpie to cross through items and prices that no longer apply. But I also agree having to look at the whole menu on my small phone screen isn't the best experience.

I like having a keyboard and mouse. Doing things on a smartphone is a last resort.
- For me I'll add to this the touch pad on my laptop. Using those things drives me crazy.
  
  I hate using PC touchpads but my Mac touchpad is /chefskiss
- I see computers as content creation devices and phones as content consumption devices, so IMO it's mostly fine.

My old person traits are most of all posted here because I am an old person.
But I'll add that my old person traits is that I think a living wage should support... er... living, including a place to live, food to eat, paying for services, buying clothes, getting decent public health and education, and even have spare money for your free time (hobbies, eat out, theatre, concerts, etc.).
- Capitalism enters the chat
  Capitalism: Nah bro. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work. Are you lazy and don't want to work anymore? Be loyal to your company and work for them for 60 years. Your hard work will reap you many rewards so that your CEO can buy a new yacht.
  Reaganism enters the chat
  Reaganism: Oh hell yeah we're about to trickle down some wealth, everyone! My newfound wealth and yacht will trickle down to you all, somehow potentially. So that's your benefit. Trust us! Check out the next comment to this post and get ready for that economic stimulus that you paid for! It's coming!
  Inexorable machinery of capitalism whirs into the chat
  Machinery of Capitalism: Hey, working class! Give us more blood so our gears can continue to whir.
  Working Class feebly crawls into the chat
  Working Class: We're too tired from work. We're too tired fighting with each other because the Wealthy Class pits us against each other. We're too tired and distracted to unite because we think the others in the working class are against us rather than focusing on the real problem. We are too manipulated by you and believe we're in a culture war, when the real problem is the inexorable class war where you transfer all the wealth from us to you. We just want to have freedom, pay our bills without worry, not destroy our planet, and retire while being happy. We just want to be able to afford to eat. If you keep this up and break us to the point of no return, we just may have to eat the rich.
  Capitalism: Gulp! Let's think of something new we can distract you with or some other corporation/wealthy controversial person we can exploit to manipulate you all into being divided again. We summon Ron DeSantis! I choose you, Vladimir Putin! Use "War on Ukraine" - it's super effective! Ron DeSantis, use "scummy villain civil rights" Special Move! It's Super Effective! Now stand still while we take away your rights, your money, your choice, and your autonomy.
  Working Class: ... Okay, you win again. You're right - as a farmer, I definitely see that the hunters are trying to take away my pitchforks. The butchers are trying to steal my chickens. Farmers - unite! Let's kill those hunters and butchers.
  Machinery of Capitalism, smiling and satisfied, continues to do parasite things while the Rich riches their riches harder
  Repeat this cycle for all of time and humanity's history *
  
  Wealthy Class: Oh heck yeah I'm about to trickle down some wealth to you all! Everybody hold out their hands.
  Proceeds to trickle a small handout only to the Butchers
  Butchers: Thank you!! This is so generous!
  Farmers + Hunters: WTF?! How come you Butchers got the money? Let's go complain to the Wealthy Class and figure out what happened!
  Wealthy Class: WTF? How can this be? Butchers - explain yourself!
  Butchers: We worked hard for this and we need this money.
  Farmers + Hunters: Hey, screw you! How can you be so greedy when we need the money, too? Let's fight!
  Butchers: Them's fighting words. You guys suck, why can't you work harder?
  Farmers, Hunters, and Butchers proceed to rassle
  Wealthy Class:
- Wow okay gramps. Check out old boy here not juggling three jobs to pay off crippling debt and eating ramen 3 meals a day.

I prefer landscape videos over vertical videos. I still remember when vertical videos were clowned on so hard that there were songs written about it. Now it's how everyone consumes their content!

My old person trait is thinking a family should be able to live in a house if one member has a stable job (maybe two people if both are at minimum wage).

These aren't "old person traits". It's common sense.

I want a proper headphone jack on my phone! Bluetooth can be convenient, but I prefer wired headphones.

my old person trait is remembering that it didn't use to be this hot in the summer where I live.
- Oof.

My old person trait is that I want video to be horizontal.
- Honestly short form videos are so dangerous to my already short attention span
  Doesn't help that even YouTube is shoving them down people's throats now
  
  Because the video is short, people don't need a seek bar right? Right?
  
  You can somewhat avoid them on YouTube, but they're really annoying on Instagram, given that I'm using the platform for photography, and augmented by the fact that I can't disable autoplay.
  
  Don't watch them then? You can blame everything on other things, or you can avoid short form content.
- Don't say that, I am 19 and also want horizontal videos. Is 19 old nowadays?
- Don't say that, I am 19 and also want horizontal videos. Is 19 old nowadays?
- Don't say that, I am 19 and also want horizontal videos. Is 19 old nowadays?

My old person trait is only tipping if someone is actually providing a service for me. I don’t tip at all if I’m lifting a finger for anything.

My fucking back hurts. Knee joints as well. And I think socializing is overrated.

My old person trait is thinking that the internet shouldn't just be a place to sell products.

My old person trait is that I'm unreasonably annoyed by people who don't write in full, correct, complete sentences, punctuation and grammar included.
Something interesting I've found is that people use 'lol' to show disinterest or mock the person they're replying to, not to show amusement. And that's not the kind of person I really want to engage with.

I have a few. And I'm not even that old (mid thirties)
People who talk on phone calls using airpods or similar look ridiculous in public, like they're utter lunatics talking to themselves or their imaginary friend.
people who view life through their mobile phones are unfortunate and sad. Like...why pay money to go see a gig if you're going to view it through your phone screen? I went to a wedding last week and I was one of the very few who was actually watching the procession with my own eyes rather through a camera app.
Not being on social media should be an accepted norm, not a fucking exception. This is an issue when dating, unbelievably.
- I used to always buy physical pc games and then redeem the codes on steam! This was back when I ran a gaming store for a couple of years. Got Fallout New Vegas and Portal 2 cheaper than on steam this way, and with staff discount on top too
  Still have the boxes and dvds! I miss the old big box monkey island era tho, dial a pirate lol
- I went to a wedding last week and I was one of the very few who was actually watching the procession with my own eyes rather through a camera app.
  Exactly why that during our wedding we made a PSA to not take pictures or videos, and we have a dedicated professional taking care of that and we'll give access to those photos after.
- The not being on social media one sucks when dating for sure.
  "How do I know you aren't a weirdo, creep, stalker etc?"
  "You don't and me having social media wouldn't change that either."
  Sure I could play ball and make myself a presence but honestly I'm happy enough being single that I'll gladly dodge any lady who isn't on board with my lack of social media.
  Just a shame that in a numbers game that a relatively high proportion choose such a non issue to be a sticking point.
  
  I think the numbers may work in your favor the other way. The coolest / funnest / most interesting people I know have minimal or no social media presence. There are fewer of them, sure, but a much higher percentage of them are cool people vs the mindless drones who see everything in life as a photo op which they can post on their curated online persona's webpages.
- the social media part - I'm so tired of justifying why I don't have Instagram or Twitter to people. They think you're weird if you don't have one. I usually just say I used to have it but deleted it because it was stressful, but I don't think I should have to justify it at all
- How I see it, not needing to be in the big social is a privilege. If you can stay out, enjoy. I know a lot of artists etc. who, if they left the big social, would soon have no work or income.
  Me? I open LinkedIn when I need a new job, that's all.

The idea of "keep it simple, stupid" is lost. Everything, from beauracracy to apps to games to social interactions, is mired in unnecessary complexity that makes it difficult for everyone to keep up. I want a simple website with information that I need (thank you Wikipedia for upholding this). I want an airline loyalty membership without insane fine-print rules. I want to tip services based on service provided and not mess around a tablet's interface. I want dental insurance where I'm not leaving the office with a bill that's almost half my rent becuase they did something my insurance said in fine-print wouldn't cover. Maybe these aren't "old person" traits and I'm just here venting. But damn if I don't miss when certain things were simpler.

When I buy an aplliance or something simple like a speaker I don't want to have to connect it to the web to work properly. I want to just plug it in and use the function I bought it for.
- I'll got a step further and say that I don't want anything to connect to the internet except my computer. And even then I'd prefer if programs didn't try to sync settings or check for updates or anything else without me saying they can use the network.
  (I'm in a shrinking minority that doesn't use the internet on their phone. I feel that somehow makes me even more of an old person than my parents...)
- My water heater has wifi. Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you ever heard?? Lol!!
  
  Friend of mine had his house switched to smart lighting without buttons. All controlled via WiFi. Then his WiFi broke. 😂

My actual old people trait is that there should be two spaces after a period. I will die on this stupid fucking hill. Even though computers automatically change it to one space. Like here.
- I'd downvote but I've come to the understanding that I shouldn't downvote if I disagree, so... Take my upvote, truly an old people trait
- It was necessary with typewriters.
  Then the earliest word processing programs didn’t do layout well, so the habit made the leap to computers.
  Then years later it’s seen as an old person’s habit by people who’ve only ever known systems with smart text layout.
- This is the only true OPT in the thread. The rest are middle aged traits at best.
- I succumbed to the single-space-after-periods madness a few years ago. I'm used to it now, but the transition was hard.

These are not old person traits, these are just things that most people agree upon.

My old person trait is that most of these sound like very recent problems

I DO NOT owe you a text back. If I'm not physically w you, I owe you very little in terms of interaction. I come home, throw my phone under the bed, and ignore till morning, and I prob won't answer you then either. It's not personal...usually.

For me, I miss the days when you could browse a website without popups for cookie consent, creating/signing up for an account, paying them money, and disabling your ad blocker.

Dumb TVs, its either 1.5k plus or you will literally never find one. I don't wanna be profiled or have some stupid android is on it. All it needs to do is display images on screen.

Mine is that a cellphone should be a phone first, instead of being a shitty computer first and a celllphone as a distant afterthought.
- This might be the only actual old person trait in this thread (OP included). The rest is basically just “I don’t want to be fucked over.”
  
  It goes along with how they've stopped calling it a user interface and started calling it a user experience. Interface implies the computer is a tool that you use to do things, while experience implies that the things you can do are ready made according to, basically, usage scripts that were mapped out by designers and programmers.
  No sane person would talk about a user's experience with a socket wrench, and that's how you know socket wrenches are still useful.

I disagree that you owe a face to face conversation. No one should forced to go meet someone if they don't feel like it.
In the context of dating, if you get ghosted, consider that the person is not interested in you after all - and just move on. No big deal.
- It'd of course be nice to be rejected directly, and i much prefer it over getting ghosted, but I'm a big boy. I can handle not having things my preferred way all the time.

Likely an outdated one, or one that's already been given a number of times, but – Physical Books.
I'm not entirely 'anti' e-reader, the benefits are obvious. I'm just VERY pro physical book.
- I don't use an e-reader, but I found a long time ago I prefer audio books to physical books.
  Its purely a comfort thing. I can read a lot faster than any audio book, but I just have a hard time finding a comfortable position to read a real book.
  Also the added benifit of listening in the car, while working, or falling alseep.
  The only times I find myself with a physical book is reading technical things like textbooks, or when I'm on a plane.
- I love physical books, but I love eReaders more. I've loved digital books since before digital books existed.
  My love for digital books started when I was in college, and was lugging around a backpack full of fucking heavy dead trees. I spent countless hours fantasizing about a future where I could carry my entire library around in a single, small device.
  You often see the lament: "it's the future! Where's my flying car‽" But, my friend, we are living in the future, one where my most cherished desire - the ability to literally fit every book I own into a single portable device - has come true.
  I even have a second device, the dimensions of a standard US sheet of paper, on which I can write and easily read PDFs formatted for print; I can even run OCR on the notes and get pretty good results - this eliminated the endless, unsearchable notebooks that were my second plague. One day, this device will be foldable, and I'll be able to combine the two uses into one device.
  I do still own, and occasionally buy, paper books. When I do, they're books I've already greatly enjoyed, and want to have hard-bound copies of. I curtail this behavior, as I've moved home a dozen times in my life already, and each time culled large portions of my library. For years, nobody accepts paper books, and they mostly go to recycling, which I always fine painful. It's one of the worst parts of moving, choosing either to haul around more heavy boxes or send less cherished books to be destroyed. The books I do buy are destined for the bookshelf; I buy these only for nostalgia, and it is unlikely that their spines will ever be broken.
  My true love is e-ink; my library exists both on my computer (backed up) and on my eReader, always and fully accessible whether at home or travelling, and never taking up more space than a notepad. I had moved on long before the means to move on were available, and have never looked back.
  
  If you're in the UK, next-time you're forced to do a cull, try to see if you can find (or just start) a Bookcycle/Shelfcycle nearby. There aren't many yet but they're growing. It's a charity explicitly designed to do a better job of valuing donated books than existing infrastructure. They worked out that places like schools in developing worlds can often make great use of the books that other charity shops would destroy because they don't sell quickly in UK charity book shops. So Bookcycle sells the ones that would to raise funds to send the ones that wouldn't as a donation to communities that would value them. They try really hard not to destroy any book that someone might still find value in somewhere.
- Physical books are amazing and I'll always buy physical copies of the ones I love. Looking at it from cover to cover and taking in the cover art, the smell of the pages, the sound of it as you rustle through pages, the thunk when you close the book shut after finishing it. Not to mention just staring at all your books in a bookshelf and reminiscing about them. It's a lovely thing. You can't get that experience with eReaders and smart devices.
  But I do purchase eBooks because I love the convenience. I prefer to buy DRM-free versions but they are difficult to obtain due to modern publishers. When I'm forced to buy one with DRM, I always break the DRM so that I can archive them and use them on any device I wish. Knowledge should be free, always.
- I read somewhere that most people who read actually prefer physical books over e-books. The thing is a lot less people want to read now.

My old person trait is when someone offers me coffee, I look at my watch.

- Since being forced back to they office only to sit on calls with the TV in the meeting room, I take every opportunity I can to make snide remarks about staying home.

The third one is my old person trait. Also, grumpiness, and wanting the right to repair my own devices.

I don't want an iPad glued to my car's dashboard. Touch screens are fine but the current screen sizes and placement are ridiculous. It's a car, the screen shouldn't be distracting you.
- Absolutely with you. With physical buttons you quickly have the placement of your controls in muscle memory and you can just blindly change your A/C settings or skip songs without taking your eyes off your road.
  
  That's why I still simp for Infiniti. They haven't yet updated the Q50 interior to the new trend and I hope they never do. I love my buttons for things I need to do while in motion. I hate Tesla for popularizing this crap.
  Thankfully the luxury brands and Toyota are still holding out.
- My old person trait is almost this but just the buttons. You cannot convince me that a touch screen is safer than physical buttons I can identify by touch while keeping my eyes on the road.
  
  I'm fine with the touch screen for things like inputting gps info, adjusting car settings, etc. I just think anything that we'll do in motion, e.g. adjust volume or temperature, should have a tactile button.
- but how can we put ads on your tiny screen?

Mine is that I miss the days when physical media (DVDs, VHS, etc) was the main way to own media

In my 40’s I feel like everything about me is an old person trait.
As a trauma survivor, all of the people I’ve ghosted in my life were toxic and bad for my mental, physical and emotional health and I have no regrets. It’s kind of like the Billy Crystal speech in When Harry Met Sally, except the opposite. When you realize you don’t ever want to see a person again for the rest of your life…you want the rest of your life to start immediately

10pm being late. When I was young I would stay up until 2-3 am doing stuff.

My old person trait is when someone tells me what they mean, they better damn well be telling me what they mean, because I'm not gonna play mind games with them. If you tell me you're not upset then I'll believe you're not upset, I'm honouring you and your words and trusting that you're being upfront and honest with what you want me to know. And if you secretly are upset, it's not my responsibility to know that, you did not tell me.
- I have adapted this policy. With a bunch of trying to understand why this person is acting a certain way.
  
  Personally I'm not great at reading people and I've found they get even more frustrated when you get it wrong than when you just don't do it. After a certain point I found myself miserable and I kinda stopped and went "wait, why is it MY job to know what THEY want from me?" And I eventually just kinda. Stopped. Most people hardly noticed because I got it wrong or overlooked it so much anyway but it was tons less stress on me, and now they knew how to effectively interact with me

I kinda agree with you op on ghosting being unacceptable, but NOBODY is entitled to see my face NO ONE. It is not ghosting to straight up tell someone "I am no longer interested in continuing to stay in contact with you."
Likewise, my old person trait is the belief that your identity and all details pertaining to it are PERSONAL including voice, likeness, biometric statistics, location, interests - basically, the default human presence online is TEXT ONLY AND NO DESCRIPTION OF ANYTHING CONCRETE until and unless they choose to intentionally disclose more, and nobody, not one mother FUCKING person OR THING has the right to demand of you any more than that. Lastly, that you should guard your information greedily and viciously.