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Lemmy Be Wholesome @lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

5mo ago

A goofy idea to entertain the family

71 comments

Son goes crazy in a good way or bad way?
Like I can imagine a 4 year old going wild with excitement cause the parents are home. Or a 14 year old cringing hard
- 16 year old rapidly putting their dick away
  
  win win
  
  flings laptop across the room
- I pictured the first, but the cringing teenager is funny too.

I have this set up automatically with our smart speaker thing. Whenever it detects someone arriving at home, it plays a jingle from a playlist I set up for the purpose. They are all short - I think the longest is about 30s. They are intros from TV shows and jingles from videogames.
- Ok, I need to copy this.
- Please elaborate, what do you use for this?
  
  The “Shortcuts” app for iPhone. Not sure what the Android equivalent is.
- This is brilliant, how do you go about doing this?

Somebody...
- Once told me…
  
  The world is going to roll me.
- this is so easily what I'd make mine
- I genuinely didn't recognize what song you were referring to because the "some" was not stretched and "body" was not emphasized 😂

Add a smoke machine and some fireworks and every time you come home it's like walking into a WWE ring
- flicker some smart lights too
  
  Yess I need to find me an app to connect these things. Maybe something like If This Then That? Or maybe the apple automation app (whatever it’s called) can do this.
- But without the thinly-veiled gay porn?
  
  Yes, I only allow totally unveiled gay porn in my home.
- I can only imagine John Cena music for which my son goes crazy

'Imperial March' just before arriving would be awesome
- The original, or the metal version?
  
  Start with the original, and when they tire of it, move to this fantastic version!

That took me a minute. I read "house speaker" as Mike Johnson.
- I don't know what he does in his spare time, so maybe?
  
  Gotta have something to do when he's not monitoring his son's porn browsing

Cues up "What New PussyCat?" by Tom Jones
......
BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH
WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH
- But 21 times before you come in, with another song thrown in about 12 or so in just to confuse them
  
  It's not unusual
- The Rocky Theme would be my choice, maybe the original Hawaii 5-0.

My dogs would fucking love this. They love when we play music in general, and would totally get excited for a dedicated "daddy's home!" Song

one day switch it up and play John Cena's wrestling intro
- 🎺 🎺 🎺 🎺

I would absolutely take mine from pro wrestling. Mine would either be "Here Comes the Money" by Naughty by Nature or the entrance music for Road Dogg
- "Bah gawd, that's daddy's music!"
- Excellent choices!
- I would say glass shatters but would worry about home alarm systems freaking out or just pavloving the kid to not react appropriately to the sound of glass shattering lol
- OH, YOU DIDNT KNOW?
  YOUR ASS BETTER CAAAAALLLLL SOMEBODYYYYYY!

I can't help but imagine the son doing tippy taps like my dog does whenever I get back from work 😂
- My kids used to go crazy when I would get home from work. Cherished memories.

I would definitely play the Seinfeld intro theme. Slap bass intensifies
- Gotta have the audience cheer when you enter too. I would just have a sitcom soundboard ready for the full effect.
  
  "This is the worst case of intronitis I've ever seen. You can even hear the theme music."

My family does this!
Every time my son hears the first couple lines of "boats and ho's" he goes nuts.
No idea why another dude always walks in at the same time as the music's going, but they've assured me he's just the plumber doing regularly everyday maintenance and the theme song is for me.

Depends on what song, like, girls want to have fun is a great song for your mum to make an entrance with, peaches - fuck the pain away is a different story.

Sometimes when I get out of bed and I can hear my partner and kids doing stuff, I’ll walk out playing Sirius or Gonna Fly Now loudly on my phone.
Usually my 3 year old daughter will be like “Dad, we’re doing THIS now!”
- Sirius is an inspired choice

When he's older, you'll have him conditioned and can just play your intro at any tume to watch him get confused. Won't work for long, but those first few times will be golden.

I'm gonna try this with The Final Countdown. My spouse is a huge Arrested Development fan.
- Ah, one of my favorite numbers to sing to my limited captive audience. ITS THE FINAL CAT MEOWWWW
  Full album will be available spring 2026. Requests welcome.
  
  !remindme 1.5 years

What everyday in my house would be like
- Nice to meet you, Johnny boy!

JOHN CENA
- That's my ring tone
- Keep rollin rollin rollin

Chariots of fire
In slow motion

That's a great idea

I used to play the Beatles' "Here Comes the S[o]n" on the speakers downstairs when I brought our first child downstairs after naps. My wife thought it was funny the first time, but after that it was all like "please don't stop my playlist for your pun" and I'm like "it's a literal dad joke!"
Now that son is old enough to start his own music and I totally get it. "Hey, I was listening to that!"
- Stealing this for a couple of timer

Looking over the responses, I'm surprised no one said they'd play "Never gonna give you up." by Rick Astley. I say why not rickroll your family whenever you get back home.

I kind of wonder how to do this. All of my"house speakers" can't be turned on remotely. I'm guessing it's a smart speaker.
- Yeah. Seems cool, but I would prefer to not leave everything that happens in my house potentially exposed through completely unnecessary network traffic.
  Perhaps you could do it with Bluetooth, depending on the range of the signal.

Doo dooo do dooooooo

https://youtu.be/VE03Lqm3nbI

Sounds like this guy's "wife" is Siri/Alexa... 😶

71 comments