Meatspin

This was the centrifuge through which they distilled the kids worth giving a shit about.
Yes, I know centrifuges don't distill. No, I will not be making any modifications. And, if you asked in your heart, you were probably the chaff spun aside by the Iron Dais of Judgment.
- chaff spun aside by the Iron Dais of Judgment.
  Poetry
- Wo wo wo wo! Who is the rock in the shoe that dislikes this mastapizza?

My school had one of those. One day we got the idea to tie one of the kids to it around his waist and make him run around to spin it. I still remember our teacher asking "where's Willy?" once recess was over, then looking out the window to see him desperately trying to untie himself.
- There are 3 nearby, including one at a super crowded park. I think one is getting torn out though.

I remember we didn't stop those for anybody. You want on? Sprint and jump. Want off? I still have a vivid memory of trying to get off one, being thrown outward, and getting a bar between the legs. Went to the bathroom and found blood in my underwear. Can't believe I still walked home after that
- That'll happen after a solid meatspinning. Merry-go-rounds can be pretty dangerous too if you're not careful.

Mums will not let their kids on it. Dads will spun it faster to teach their kids about conservation of momentum.
- As a dad I once spun it so fast I made a kid throw up. It was awesome.
  
  I did that to my own son. He barfed in the car and I learned my lesson.

The parents not caring is bullshit. Once my Dad came over and explained, we were doing it wrong and demonstrated for the kids a better, faster, more dangerous method before then ignoring us and heading back to the other adults.
- One thing I hate about being a 90s kid is that I was not allowed to do anything fun that could potentially injure me, because religious conservative Boomer parents were afraid of anything and everything back then. I wasn't even allowed to play StarCraft because it had "craft" in the name, and "craft" was associated with Witchcraft. My dad wouldn't even pump gas without inspecting the handle closely beforehand because he thought get people were gluing HIV-infected needles to them.
  Even after I moved out he would constantly come over unannounced to check on me. If I refused to answer, he'd call the police and file a missing person's report. I was actually somewhat relieved when he died a couple of years ago, because for the first time in my life, I was allowed to be an independent adult at the age of 35
  
  90s kid here: Your parents were just insane.
  
  This post makes me question my interpretation of events.
  I have acquaintances who seem to have a paranoid belief that every other person in the world is a paedophile just waiting for an opportunity to kidnap their child. Growing up in the 90s, I had a great deal of freedom in comparison to this thought process. I played cricket on the streets, I walked around the neighbourhood without concern, I walked my dog in the evenings. My parents didn't seem to think I would be unsafe without them around to coddle me.
  I guess no matter the generation there are parents who go too far in one extreme or another... Though tbh, being concerned about witchcraft seems more medieval than boomer. Sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you feel more free now. I imagine it must be a complex mix of emotions.
  
  That blows, because we're similar age, I'm born in '87, and I look back fondly at the freedom I had as a kid. It's a bit how I intend to model my parenting around, although it's hard to escape modern times in my mind sometimes. But my kids will wander around the neighborhood alone (in a couple of years, still too young), get dirty, stay out til the sun goes down, that kind of thing, with the caveat of not bothering people and their properties. Probably easier said than done on my part, we shall see.
  
  Damn dude, I hope things are better for you
  
  Fellow 90s kid, my parents were exactly the same. Religious background, fox news constantly, I once didn't text back within 2 hours and had a neighbor contacted via Facebook knocking on my door in my 30s (to be fair I work on call so it's atypical). I got lectured at 18 for buying an m rated game in front of them... Police report was a bit much; but I you aren't alone.
  Side note I would recommend this nostalgic song: high fives - 90s kid anthem by Dr awkward

My old school "upgraded" it when we left... by asphalting around it.
- If you had to work around the hateful little shits all day you'd be trying to look for low key ways to maim them too.
  
  If you truly hate kids, this is what you have to do. Introduce dangers with plausible deniability.
  How was I supposed to know the kids would use it to turn each other into meat crayons?
- My school had one on dirt. The panels were wood and had a hole in it. Finally, one day, we were playing and a kid's foot went down there and got fucked up. He was like a rockstar coming into school next day with stitches and crutches.
- Knees are overrated.

I only think of one thing when I see "Meatspin". And I don't want to search for it... But it gets You Spin Me Round stuck in my head...
- Lemon Party conjures the same kind of deep trauma.
  
  ╙Ɛ(☼)3╜
  
  The cure for that is some goatse.
  
  Me and the boys love a French 75
- That was my spray in TF 2 for a while. Had to pay it forward, right?
  Good times.
- Like a record, baby.

In my home village we have a much safer and much better version of it:
You can accelerate yourself by just pulling at the plate in the middle, meaning that everyone can have fun and you can probably get much higher speeds.
- Back in my day, we walked for miles uphill in the snow to school, we rode the unprotected meatspin, broke all of our bones, and then we walked for miles uphill back home. Kids these days are so spoiled and pampered!!!
- Meh, the constant threat of being thrown violently out into oblivion was most of the fun!
- Exactly you can use the railing to hang on the outside. Greater speed and much more fun.
- „Safer“ until you get flung against the metal bar before flying off. Because to get it up to speed you have to stand up.
  
  Once the children are a bit bigger they don't have to stand up to spin it. For smaller children its true.

Got my first real concussion on one of those things. All I remember is that one minute I was flying off of it and the next minute I was at home and I had been there for several hours.
- It's a teleportation device.
  
  Teleports kids to the ER

Meatspin?
The nighmares, they're coming back
- Are they comin' right round?
  
  Like a record player.
- Is that the Russian lathe video?

Here in Germany we optimized the process and just use these nowadays: https://www.stilum.com/wp-content/uploads/flecto-Karussell-auf-einem-Spielplatz-1030x687.jpg
- Trust the Germans to make childhood playground injuries more efficient.
- We have both kinds in playgrounds around my house here in Norway. My kids like both, but the ones from the OP is vastly preferred. They get a lot more Gs in the one with the bars.

A core memory of mine is getting flung off of one of these things because of the centrifugal force, falling on my back, and being unable to breathe for like 20-30 seconds ... until I screamed at the top of my lungs, and things slowly returned to normal, while the teacher just went: oh you're fine, don't be a baby. I was 6.
- Jesus Christ

Have you seen the videos using motorbike wheels to spin these things up?
- Whistlindiesel on YouTube put a jet engine on one

The game was, you'd put one kid in the middle and then everybody else would do their level best to spin the damn thing so fast it would either drill into the Earth's mantle or take off like a helicopter.

The moped plus roundabout was a thing a while back; maybe that's why they disappeared?
https://youtu.be/XoNW1MQictc
- Bosnian space program training.

I lost a tooth to one of these things.
To be fair, a bunch of teenagers were also involved, making it spin at about mach 87 before it smashed into my mouth.

Don't swing on that one, Matt threw up on it.

When people ask where I was at during 9/11. I didn't find out about it until hours after it happened
- Wrong thread, I think. So what were you doing hours before you found out about it?
  
  I was young, I just know I was playing on one of these before I heard about it
  
  Maybe he was west coast and sleeping. The first plane hit pretty early in the morning.

Uncle Dave out there spinning the yeet machine up to 11.

This was the best one.
Broken bones was just an indication that you gotta get good.

I don’t remember ever being thrown off of one of these. But I always see memes like this.
- Part of the fun is hanging off the side of it to increase the G forces.

Got really drunk with some other folks at a wedding reception in a park. It had one of these. There were about 10 of us crammed on it and two other people were spinning it. We went flying and it was incredible. 10/10 would recommend.

This is why we have braindead adults who run things

I somehow flipped over one of the bars and bashed my head on the deck (wooden on ours rather than metal) when I was around 6 or 7 years old. No stitches, though I don't see any noticeable scar. I don't remember much aside from seeing blood and a headache.

sadly modern adults are concerned about "safety" and "injuries"

If no adult gave a shit, why don't we see them anymore?

My grade school playground equipment was made of old tires, chains, and wooden posts. Injuries abounded, and not one of our 1980s parents gave a shit.
- But the ones that survived were warriors all. We've seen the enemy, and it goes round and round and round and round.

Pffft. 70s Scotland says 'hold my beer'.
We had a Witches Hat. Far bigger than the one in this video and we went a lot quicker and with a lot more perturbation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMvSQ3i4Ez4&t=115s
- We had those in place in the US too.

These were so much fun as a kid and pretty good as a drunk adult too

We used to walk up hill both ways in the snow to the hospital

I remember when I was 6 years old I fell off one of these things at full speed and almost killed myself. Funny times.

Idk theres a car dealership that has a 2 level version of this. The middle part is raised and spins with the base. Its not as wide as the old ones, but it seems just as dangerous.
Then theres the single person versions that works off of like angled centrifugal force? Idk. It spins and spins just from body weight. They can start it on their own, but I've had random kids ask me to help them stop, cause they couldn't do it themselves. I see variations of these in most newer playgrounds. Some have you sitting, some standing. Many parents still dont give a shit.

my friend's 6 year old sister actually broke her leg on one of these back in the day
- This is the way

Like many, we got one going way too fast. But what got me was a rock that shifted underneath it while I was spinning on my back holding on to the middle with my feet. Clocked me in the back of the head, felt like a bullet. I was alright, but it could have been much worse...

My kindergarten had a much cruder and unsafe version of this. My ~~system~~ sister has a scar on her forehead from the time she fell off of it and an open ended pipe in the structure hit her. We went absolutely wild spinning that thing.
- I hope your ~~system is doing butter thesis dames.~~ sister is doing better these days.
  
  Poetry.