Jimmy Kimmel has a suggestion.

I swear this is part of a wider ongoing experiment. "What's the most comically ridiculous, most bullshit conspiracy we can come up with that the maga cult will believe".
Whoever is behind it: please stop. We've known for a long time now that there's is no bottom to that well.
- Good. Trump needs a lot more than the MAGA cult to win an election (I wish I didn't have to keep saying this). If we can convince them to start spreading the rumor about bigfoot in Ohio to the point that Vance and/or Trump starts talking about it, plenty of people leaning right will say, "this dude is nuts. No way am I voting for him." They might not vote for Harris, but they also might not vote at all.
  
  Trump needs a lot more than the MAGA cult to win an election (I wish I didn't have to keep saying this).
  But he doesn't in order to seize power undemocratically, which is his real game plan here. Remember, the NAZIs never had more than 30-something percent support in 1930s Germany, either.
  
  Ideology for many of the conservative mindset is more important that principles. The Democratic leaning voters are the ones that can be fickle enough to stay home but the Republicans would still vote
  
  Indeed, at this point I'm expecting Trump to lose hard simply because he only has the MAGA cult and a few "Vote Red or we're all dead" types
- If you mix it with racism, they'll believe just about anything.
  
  Turns out Bigfoot is brown, and migrates north for the summer. We need to let JD Vance know STAT.
  
  Yeah, true. That's the special ingredient.
- Call JD Vance's office and make up the most ridiculous shit. Say that Obama has been spotted shoving smaller gerbils up the asses of larger gerbils. The funnier we get this, the more "weird" Trump and Vance seem
  
  Say that Obama has been spotted shoving smaller gerbils up the asses of larger gerbils.
  Holy shit, that had me nearly crying with laughter!
- No no, I want to see how far we can take this.
  What's the worst that could happen?
- We all know whos responsible... The hacker known as four chan
- Old Internet thick. Very dense. Took memes and trolls lot of work dig through. New Internet thin. Memes go to top quick. Much trolling on surface.
  /S but kind of not
- I’m pretty sure that’s how Qanon started.
- I blame VEEP.

Yo. I called to say I saw JD fucking a couch. They pretty much have to make that public now or else it will seem like they have some sort of weir bias against immigrants.
- Remove weir bias now!!!!
  All water retention systems matter!!!
  
  Ok, but weirs make up 13% of....
- JD couchplower and associates

Can you imagine going out in public wearing a diaper with a big fake bandage on your ear yelling about people eating dogs
I used to think furries were weird, they ain't got shit on these people
- Most furries are harmless. A few are creeps with no concept of boundaries. Some are particularly deluded Nazis. Like every group of some size, they have a certain percentage of scum. Depending on your standards, they might be weird, but I'll take harmless weirdness over harmful normalcy any day, let alone harmful weirdness.
  
  We're actually some of the larger donaters to animal based charities, I've yet to go to a furcon that didn't make 10s of thousands for endangered animal rescue.
  
  I approve this message 🫡
- Haitians are eating the furries.
  
  Eating their pussies.
- When furries eat dogs it's purely consensual
  
  I refuse to believe it’s real. It’s just shock value to call for attention.
- When I was a kid it was people saying the Vietnamese immigrants that were eating pets, and the Latinos were sacrificing them
- Can you imagine going out in public wearing a diaper with a big fake bandage on your ear yelling about people eating dogs
  Sounds like a normal night out in Dallas, TX to me.

Right, no one saw bigfoot because the Haitians ate him. There's almost nothing the Haitians won't eat. /s
- 5 minutes since this guy posted and we haven't heard from him since. FUCKING HATIANS ATE HIM
  
  I think the /s stands for screaming. Which would be an appropriate response, given the situation.
- Hey, has anyone seen Trump...? Uhoh.

I just saw Big Foot with a Venezuelan gang member sharing a cat bbq!
- Please call J.D. Vance's office, as one does about such issues.
- I saw Haitian migrants eating Bigfoot’s pets!
- Im sharing this with all my friends to do the same. I just called and said I saw one in texas.
- And then I saw one of the Big Foots and the Big Foot looked at me.

Bigfoot is real, and he tried to eat my ass.
- Tried?
  
  Who said otherwise, did you talk to Bigfoot? Did he say anything about me?
  
  I'm a tease.
- Same here.
  wasnt too bad tho...
  
  Is it only trying when you only go one knuckle deep? Same.
- Your loss, man. You could have had your ass eaten by bigfoot

If you call his office to say that you saw Democrats send Bigfoot to force trans surgery on hunters in the woods it will be his next headline.

Could also let him know about that couch you saw on the street..... ask why he kicked out his mistress.

Someone should warn them that an orange monster has been eating the brains of countless Americans, anyone eating cats has competition!
- He doesn't eat brains, McDonalds doesn't have brains on the menu. He just slowly poisons minds with his illogical gibberish.

Did this happen? Did Kimmel announce the office line for JD's people?
- It did. In fact, he did yesterday too and told them to call and say that cupcake sprinkles made their kid gay, but this is better.
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez6phBoRvpc
  
  That was excellent. Thanks!
  
  Are they threatening him with lawsuits or anything? Not sure what the cause would be but I’m figuring they’d come up with something.
  Or they’ll try to get people to call democrat offices. Though I don’t think they have this level of mainstream media influence, so maybe it would come from random podcasts and tik toks. There’s Fox News though.

I’m calling right now
- That was two hours ago. How did it go?

Look, I'm an abigfootist too. But it's just uncool to insult other people's beliefs. There's no proof that there isn't a Bigfoot anyways. Let's just be cool and accepting of their belief in Bigfoot, even if bigfootists are voting.
- I admit, I have tried to figure out hypothetically how someone could get away with murder, and I thought going to another state, or even going to Mexico or Canada and then killing a random person would be part of it, but even then, you would have to do it from a distance because you might leave DNA on the body (they might fight back for example, get a bit of your skin under their nails or something). That would probably involve shooting a gun. Which is loud.
  Maybe if you found a way to poison someone without anyone seeing the both of you together...
  
  What the fuck are you talking about, Jesse?
  
  Unsolved murder rate dropped to 50% in 2020, and that was a historic low: https://www.npr.org/2023/04/29/1172775448/people-murder-unsolved-killings-record-high
  So the real answer might be to just murder someone and you have a coin flip chance of ever being caught.
  
  Yes, RCMP and PFM, this comment right here.