Need more positive masculinity. Like what you see? Ask about it and learn from them

Who notices that someone is better at mounting tvs? How does one notice this? What is this made up scenario?
- Besides watching someone to try to learn, craftsmen can just goon over other's works.
  At a job once updating some central lighting control there were some awesome rooms some (probably long retired) electrician had planned and installed. man that shit was so clean. Another time me n another guy were 'mirin this single ¾ conduit bend for 5 minutes.
  
  This isn't exactly 100% relevant to your story, but it is related and an anecdote I enjoy sharing.
  I recently moved to a small town and hired an electrician to make some changes to my house. After showing him around the house, we went to look at the fuse box to determine what changes could be made.
  As we were looking, he said "I know those fuses are original." When I asked how, he pointed at the labels and said "because that's my father's handwriting."
  Kinda cool to have a legacy like that. The electrician did do good work, so far as I can tell, so it was likely earned as well.
  
  Another similar example would be guys who look at a picture of a server rack and go "Hnnnng, look at that cable management ohmygod how!?"
  
  I've been contemplating sending a business rival a bottle of whiskey for proper capatilization on the word "FastLane" as well as strict adherence to correct PLU usage in the face of absurd custom store-level PLUs, 100% get it.
  
  What made the old electrician's work especially clean or notable? Just curious what caught your eye as I'm someone not in that industry
  
  Now when you say goon…
  
  That didn't involve you learning how someone can hang tvs better than you on Facebook. Having hung a TV or two in my day, I don't know how one can learn to respect another's ability there based on social media
  Quick edit: I'm also super annoyed at op to tie it to 'positive masculinity' while describing the quintessential male trait - they like teaching or displaying their abilities. Go grill or work on cars with a group of men and see what happens. It's a fucking trope. This nonsense wholesome schtick is gross.
- Professional handymen, electronics installers, contractors, people who do this kind of thing for a living.
  
  I'm one of those. Anyone else think it looks a tiny bit higher on the right hand side? Lol
  
  You can either hang it up straight or not.
- Better work with the cabling, perhaps. In this picture you can see that there's a new work box in the drywall so he's running hidden cables. There could be drywall patching or he's really good at making the holes so there doesn't need to be patching.
  He could do more types of mounts than this guy is used to.
  He could be faster.
  Is that you're completely unimaginative so you can't come up with ways someone might be better or do you have so little respect for trades that you think there can't be skill involved?
  
  Why the hostility? I would've asked this question if they hadn't, and I don't consider myself unimaginative or disrespectful. Just uninformed...
- Pros notice tiny details that most people don't even think of.
  Maybe they did the job 5 minutes faster or the mount job just looks cleaner than yours.
  
  One example: Check the screws on your electric outlet/light switch faceplates. If the screws are aligned, your electrician gave a shit about their work
- I see it all the time.
  Like someone shares a photo their desk and their setup is so slick. Or someone shows off their kitchen. Those are things I like a lot and want to improve. So rather than scroll past, or leave a hater response, I ask questions to pick up what they're dropping. You can try that.
  
  That doesn't address the quality of hanging a TV. The things you mentioned are superficial. Being good at hanging a TV is structural. The only way one would know if another was good or bad at it is if the TV eventually fell off the wall or was loose, which one could not see from a FB post.
- Just because you don't do something doesn't mean nobody does. Maybe don't assume something is made up just because you're unfamiliar with it.
- Why would you hate on that guy.
  
  picture of two guys kneeling in front of a wall
  Bullshit feely caption that doesn't make sense to any who understands the words being used
  Internet: omg, so wholesome!
- DIY groups
- Yeah this is a weird one for sure. I hate to be a "nothing ever happens" person but this one didn't happen like the caption says it did.
- You don't post videos of your TV mounting skills on Fb??
- Presumably somebody that mounts TVs for a living.
- "okay, the camera is rolling, now whip out your dong and fuck that TV like it's your mother's sister!"
  15 seconds later
  "damn, how do you even... in the hdmi... it comes back out of the coax?! could you teach me how to do that?"
  and from that day forward, it was a duo of TV mounters
- You are on lemmy. This things get shared here. Same is true for every other social media.
- And why would anyone hate on someone for being good at mounting a TV?
- Advertisement for whatever slrpnk dot net is trying to sell?
  I definitely have friends who I know are a lot better at this kind of stuff than I am (mostly because they get less anxious over what happens if they screw up but...). I have never seen a difference once the tv is mounted because... you can't see the fricking mount once the TV is mounted.
  I dunno. I also kind of have problems with the underlying premise too. Yes, toxic masculinity is a massive problem and people very much do not realize how few "male role models" there are for kids who aren't bald human traffickers and the people who sniff their chairs. But "Hey dude, I see you are a super masculine strong man with a bubble level" is not the answer.
  The answer is to teach kids they don't NEED role models that fit the same gender roles they do (or, more often, their parents think they should). An athlete is an athlete and a smart person is a smart person. Same with being "handy". This is a lesson girls/"girls" were forced to learn long ago and is one boys/"boys" would benefit from. Because then you don't need to say "Well, I like what this person is saying but they have the wrong genitalia and aren't muscular enough".
  
  What you see isn't the issue with proper mounting, its what you don't.
  Leveling, positioning for cable pathways/junction box positioning/planning, heights for good viewing, proper blocking for support, so on. And someone who foes this for a living is going to notice.
  And slrpnk.net, the Lemmy instance, is about working towards a sustainable future (solarpunk concept), so that's the only thing that instance is selling is a climate friendly future. Well worth checking out some of the great communities on there.
  
  That's another lemmy instance.

My step-brother and I weren't family until a decade ago. He goes into incel mode and projects his insecurity by hating on everybody.
But today, he shared this with me about something he wants to get better at as he was getting tired of being angry all the time.
So hopefully this message gets across to more people.
- Y'all were always family even though you never met.
  
  Do you know how step siblings work?

True kings fix each other's crowns.
- I like this a lot. Thank you king.

It's a sign of the times that this is upvoted so much. When I was growing up, this was called normal behavior and was boring and nobody talked about it.
- Wholesome
- If nobody talked about it, how do you know it was normal behavior?
  
  Because we all did it, our entire family, all of our friends and every coworker.

I had a plumber once, older guy, who was really eager to teach somebody the trade. He "made" me do half the work and I didn't even mind because I learned how to do a lot of shit I didn't know how to do before.
Be coachable in life and you will be surprised the info you can get from qualified people for free.
Also if you are handy you always have a fallback job if your 9 to 5 shitcans you unexpectedly.
- Anytime I need to seek something outside my skillset, I basically offer myself as "apprentice for the day" and you'd be surprised how many will take you up on it.
  
  Like, you hire a contractor to do work for you and ask them to let you apprentice for them at the same time and they go for it? I would love doing this so I don't have to hire a contractor the second time! What do you say to them to get them to agree?

Nice message, but the thought of the existence of a competitive scene of contractors specializing in mounting TVs is hilarious. Also, that mounting plate is crooked af.
- He didn't say he was any good, just better
- My workplace has been going through some remodeling and I've been spending time shooting the breeze with the electricians especially, and they will spend countless hours giving their opinions on the work of the previous contractors!
  The type of conduit used vs what they would have run, the number of cuts and fittings used, etc. They tell me about going into the local Walmart and judging the wire runs there. I have no doubt the residential ones are judging people's TV installs when they're in someone's house! 😆
  It seems like healthy fun though, I've never seen anyone actually say anything real negative. Now when they mention the carpenters paying no mind to how the electrical will need to go, then that's where it gets dirty!
  
  I work for an internet/phone company and… well, I try not to do this. Like, I kinda worry it comes off as unprofessional, ya know? But sometimes, you just see some shit. Like, I need the person who owns the house to understand that yes, the person who wired your house is a moron because no, wirenuts are not an acceptable way to splice cat5e ethernet runs.
- It's also way too high up.
  
  Sometimes when im feeling passive aggressive I look at that subreddit
- Audio/video contractors are absolutely a thing. It involves a lot of TV mounting, but there's usually a lot more behind the scenes.
  Source: I am one

We all need community
- Six seasons and a movie!
  
  Pop pop!

All these people in the comments complaining that the bar isn't level when the picture is just taken from a slight side angle? 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ literal perspective problem 😂
Also people being like "lol no such thing as a TV-bar-hanger-contractor"..... Audio/video contractors of course do this??? Like, who said its the only thing their job entails?? 😂
- The post literally says he is learning, so I can imagine a crooked mount.
  
  Conspiracy brainstorming about whether a dudes tv mount is level is kinda toxic behavior.
- put a bubble level on it and prove it to me >:(
  At least it's the right height off of the ground... Too many people put that shit way too high.
- It definitely is crooked lol The angle of the picture doesn't matter you can still see that it's crooked 😭 lmao
  But yeah people be hating for no reason
  
  Bet it's level just the house is crooked
- not a bad comment, but jesus the amount of emojis and "????" really makes me feel like I'm mentally retarded and you have to talk to me like I'm a small child
  
  You have 4 emojis in your name. I'm hoping this was supposed to be ironic.
  How is it I came into the wholesome thread, and every comment seems to be people looking down on or critiquing people.
  This is not a good sign

That bar is not straight i hate it.
- Or if it's anything like some of the places I've lived, it's straight but the walls aren't...
  
  Burn it down, we are starting from the beginning...
- Poss optical illusion from camera angle, also poss irrelevant once the display is in front of it.
- You don't like gay bars?
  
  I'll use any excuse to link electric six
- Yeah. He wants to improve!
  
  lesson #1 will be leveling 😂

Imagine how much more common this positive vibe would be if people wouldn’t need to spend at least 1/3 of their life trying to meet ends in competitive environment

Everyone better than me is inspiration
- No one's better than you. You're unique and amazing!
  Someone might be particularly good at something you didn't learn enough yet :)

I think asking is the part that's hard to work on. Most people love to help eachother out, but the "self sufficiency" mindset holds is back from asking eachother.
Two Kings in that post!
- and remember, don't just ask, also teach. When the opportunity arises, take it.

r/tvtoohigh

Can't tell if that mount is way off-level or not. Based on the floor moulding, it looks like it's lower on the left than right. OCD = triggered
- He's calculated the precise amount the house will settle so that the TV is level in the end. THAT's how good he is.
  
  Did he calculate how much the house was going to sink as well? Because that TV is too bloody high.
- Entirely possible the floor itself may not be level, too.
- If it's high enough, level to the ceiling not the floor

Weird that someone could see someone being better than them at something so their first thought is to "hate on them" rather than respecting them
- It happens all the time. Literally here in the comments too.

It's not terribly active but there's !mensliberation@lemmy.ca

Not hating or anything, but it's always dude that dk TV mounting that are like this.

Racist post
/s

I'm a labourer; I take pride in my work, I am always learning, and I am very pleasant to others. Meanwhile financialised capital markets ruin the world while making the rich even richer. And there's no way mounting televisions is paying well enough to own your own house anymore. So if that's where positive masculinity will get you nowadays, it doesn't surprise me that young men are frantically casting about for an alternative. The real problem is the logic of capital.
- how tf do you manage to make this political

Sure, we need more positive masculinity, but problem is, same "empowered" women shaming men for it, i mean, i am man and with my friends I'm very very close, supportive, and kind, every time "empowered" women see it, they shame the fuck out of you, if your don't show healthy positive masculinity and closing off, then you get shamed again, if you try to become independent of others opinions and be healthy positive yourself then you get shamed again, there's simply no winning this, you gotta accept that some people, men women, elderly, peers, will hate you no matter what, until you accept this simple fact deep into your soul, and start loving yourself and living for yourself, you can't truthfully be positive and healthy masculine man, speaking from personal experience
- Key word:
  some
  As another commenter said, haters gonna hate, be they men or women. You can help others, and know you're right for that. If someone takes issue - it is their problem, not yours. I'd even argue that anyone shaming you for positive masculinity is a bullet worth dodging.
  
  Absolutely agree
- This goes for men and women. Haters gonna hate. Fuck em. Live for you and the people that truly care about you.
  
  True