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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

6mo ago

Shart, not fart

206 comments

Condom, never used.
- Used mine twice.

Musk still rich

My Arch broke.
- Use nixos
  
  btw

Back to work.
- Here's our winner.
  
  Back to office.

Reddit still going.

For sale: baby
- shoes never worn
  
  You forgot the comma after shoes but: bingo, that's the one!
- Boy or girl?

Aufenthaltserlaubnisverlängerungsantragsfrist verpasst.
- German is cheating!

In our bed?!

Alarm clock ringing

Liberty is kil
- no

Donald Trump exists
- It said a sad story, not a fucking nightmare. There might be kids reading this, don't scare them!
  
  It's a German fairytale. (I wish.)

Four more years.

Actually, it's GNU/Linux
- I love to say this sassily and where it doesn't fit just because "guh noo" sounds funny
- That's not sad.
  
  it's a glimpse into a sad life

I loved you
- "She preferred him."
  I don't think I like this game.

Good dog, stay.
- You fucker :(
  
  I made myself sad writing that.

"a sad story"
- And here we have the iq test high scorer.

Need baby shoes?
- That you, Hemmingway?
  
  Yes, it's an abridgement of the most mundane 6 word story:
  For sale: baby shoes, too small.
  
  then who was shoe?
  
  *Hemmmingway
- Stained baby shoes

The condom broke.

You tested positive.

endless economic growth
- Malignant profit-driven cancer.

deleted by creator

Trump's third term.
- This is more of a horror story

It wasn't milk
- Non-Milk Substance

We never learn

Squeezing cheeks. Urgent!

Tight couch, ouch!
- Humble brag Vance
  (cheating? Using his name automatically makes everything sad)
- Couch with a zipper,
  \ never've been deeper.
  Couch with a spring
  \ will hit you in the thing.
  intellectual thoughts with DJ Vasectomy or whatever some Amurican eyeliner boytoy is called
- Weird intersectional porn.

baby, no shoes
- no shoes, baby....
- Never shoes, baby
  
  baby, never worn

Technically not cannibalism!

She died first
- Now I'm sad

No more cheese
- No, more cheese!

Can't escape capitalism.
- Where would one go? Socialism?

Cat hates you.
- The worst fate.

Still no sleep

Brown bathroom walls.
- Thai chili curry.
  
  this burns twice

Out of coffee
- Captain initiates auto-selfdestruct.

burnt my toast
- I'm on a toast kick and that hit harder than it should. A couple of other toast themed ideas:
  Toast got cold Toast without butter
  
  Toast without butter is more in the vein of torture porn.

Toothpaste orange juice

War never changes

God creates man

The prompt said sad, not horror

Want to KMS?
No, better
Failed suicide attempt
- Suicide attempt 12
  
  If you're on number 12 and still here you're lifes a comedy, not a tragedy
- Task failed successfully

Dead Harambe timeline

Mine is autobiographical. It is based on a horrific event that happened to me this morning:
Dog poo finger
- Oh no.
- This isn't 3 words, but I know players of Elden Ring would suggest that you:
  Try finger but hole

Can't count to three.

Cells dividing uncontrollably.

Out of tacos

Grandmother at twenty.
- Egads! This is quite terrible when you realize the implications.

You were late

Dick went flaccid.
- Been there too

Welcome to Jonestown

Bent my wookie

Remembering cringey memories.
- Every friggin day.
  
  Remember when you

Shaka, walls fell.

Forced ad watching.

This is more of a horror story than a sad one.
Anyway...
"It was yours."

206 comments