Logitech has an idea for a “forever mouse” that requires a subscription

Oh, I see you choose not to buy the Forever Mouse. That's ok, that's why we at Logitech created the Pay As You Go Mouse. It's the mouse for those who prefer the freedom to start and stop using it any time.

Just buy your mouse and connect it to the Logitech Store (valid email and credit card required). Purchase just what you need, bundles start at $9.99 for 1,000 left clicks, or $19.99 for 5,000 if you want the best deal. Like to wheel scroll? Just $5.99 for 50,000 pixels of glorious scroll. And be sure to stock up on right clicks - just $4.99 for 500, $7.99 for 1,000 or $9.99 for 1,750.

And as always, Logitech puts customers first: no cost to move your mouse pointer.

Have you paid your oxygen subscription fees this month?

But the "features"!

Logitech would like to access

-Call records (so we know who also likes Logitech)

-Gps precise location (so if sombody steals it)

-Microphone (for uhhh security)

-Your wallet (they want more money)

-Your dog (hes a good dawg)

Which is where Logitech is copying the idea I’d bet

I was thinking along these lines. Like, if you want to sell me on a subscription mouse then it had better be less than a dollar a month, and it had better come with replacement hardware at any time for any reason for no additional fee with the time between request and delivery prorated against my bill. Anything less than that and someone else is going to eat your lunch by just selling the fucking hardware, but if you do that I'm going to start seeing how many creative ways I can destroy mice.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't return the damaged mouse it's at the bottom of a hole no human has seen the bottom of since at least the Civil War. It's none of your business why I was using my laptop at least ten miles out of cell range, let alone wifi range and at least 5 miles from the nearest AC power. But it's **definitely ** the deer's fault that it's down there."