Disabled Community Megathread from May 29, 2025 to June 15, 2025

Hello everyone! Don't have a lot to say, finally got around to making the new mega.

As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:

"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.

Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.

59 comments

I haven't posted in here before but today I just needed a place to speak my peace and I hope that is alright.
I am 37 years old. I was a Chef for 15 years. My family was poor and when my father stole the savings we had for college I attended Job Corp to get my culinary degree. Seeing that they have now been defunded kind of made me think about where I am and how I was so grateful for that opportunity even if my body has fallen apart.
I have Porphyria, COPD, Heart Failure, Antiphospholipid Syndrome, Lupus, and Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. Many of these conditions were unknown to me until my state finally expanded medicaid. Since then I have undergone alot of testing and seem to be collecting new diagnoses like Pokemon.
I had filed for Disability 2 years ago and have many conditions that should qualify me according to their own website. Instead NC has given me the run around for years, denied me twice, i filed again and have now been waiting a year with almost no contact from them despite constant calls and messaging and emails.
Last July I became homeless due to my savings running out and being unable to work. I used the last of my money on a car so that I wouldn't be living on the street. I have been driving for Lyft to stay alive and afford my food, gas, and medicines. Constant doctor visits and hospitalizations have made it impossible to keep up with even those lately and my car is now falling apart as well. No AC with the Carolina summer coming up, a failing transmission, and god knows what else that is keeping me from passing inspection now and unable to renew my registration because of it. Even if I could afford it.
The system is literally killing me and Trump and the Republicans have made it somehow even more unforgiving. This month I even lost my food stamps as NC told me I didn't work enough to qualify.
As i type this I sit here feeling what I think is the beginning of blood clots forming again in my lung and leg and I don't know if I even want to go to the hospital again because I am not seeing a point.
I only keep going for my Partner, my Mother, and my little brother but I really don't feel anything for me anymore. I am so tired and don't see the end of this tunnel like I used to. All i see is the end of the month approaching while i am hospitalized and unable to work enough to pay for the impossible bills that have accrued from Disability constantly delaying my approval.
I see me, on the street because my car is unable to be registered, unable to work to afford my medicines, and still dying here either way.
Sorry for the downer comment but I needed somewhere to vent and I am sure many of you have seen similar struggles and I don't want to feel so alone.
- My heart goes out to you, comrade, and I hope despite everything that there's a light at the end of your tunnel. I'm sorry it has been such a hard road for you to walk, and I can't imagine how difficult it must have been / must be right now.
- Just wanted to put it out there that you're always welcome here, and I'm so sorry you're being subjected to such unnecessary cruelty. I'm not sure what else to say, other than we're here with you comrade.

I am very happy about the new mega, thank you

My surgery was quite the ordeal, and I'm still recovering, but I honestly regret going through with it. I just wanna curl up and die. There're moments when I don't feel any pain and think it's fine, and then I just try to move even the tiniest bit and the wound explodes with pain. My doctor told me this was to be expected, but honestly, I don't think it was necessary to do it. Anyway, suffering and recovering over here, hope your week is treating you better.
- Sending hugs and a speedy recovery comrade, I'm catching up but my goodness have you been through it. Hoping you can get some good rest and maybe sleep through the worst of it.
  
  Thank you, comrade
  and take it slow, don't overload yourself please
- Hope the healing goes well and is fast.
  
  Thank you love, I appreciate you

Sorry I've been afk lately. As I said in a comment below I am ok with adding new mods and having volunteers do the megas. I don't thnk the other still active mods would mind but I don't wanna make that decision solo. I'm gonna try to message them in the mod chat about it.
For me, the reason I'm been pretty quiet on here lately is because I was trying to get my PSL chapter going, then got involved in an anarchist collective and we are working on a few Panthers inspired projects. Last week we spent a lot of time trying our best to provide food, water, medical aid and transportation to a local unhoused encampment since the city decided they wanted to put all the unhoused into a concentration camp. Trying to not get to into it, they used tax money to proved essentially tin cans for the homeless to live in but there are only spots for 50 people and we have well over 100. The encampment got torn down and now we don't have any way to communicate with probably 75% of them and we are trying to figure out next steps. The city funded camp only has room for 50 but also does not let anyone stay there during the day, doesn't allow safe use sites as a safety net, and also only allows a small amount of personal belonging. One couple we were helping had 3 dogs and they only let them take 2. In the end, they also arrested one of them over ancient charges from her past. Essentially the whole thing is an excuse for law enforcement to use violence against the unhoused.
We have a few other things we are working on but that sort of took center stage. ACAB. Humans deserve dignity. Housing and food is a human right and should not be treated as a commodity.
- You're appreciated and it's awesome that you're helping others IRL, even when it's an uphill battle
  
  Thanks, comrade. It's been really nice with this collective because there are about 10 of us to spread the load and the group is getting really tight.

this month marks a year since i cut out my abusive ex and started getting treatment for depression/anxiety, and im pretty proud of how far i've come with that, so that's pretty cool

I'm back to be able to wear shoes comfortably at last. My surgical wounds have pretty much healed and aren't painful any more. The black cloud is my bloody tendon, still inflamed. But at least I'm able to walk around outside for about 5 minutes a time, three times a day. Better than being trapped indoors permanently, but still frustrating. I am so desperate to be able to walk more. But it's thanks to this community helping me get the things I needed that my surgeries are finally over and healed, and my landlady's car is usable again and for that I couldn't be more thankful.
- I'm so happy to hear you got better love. It's never enough, but this is such big progress that I just squealed when I read it
  
  Thank you. And I've discovered something else today that might help me. I've been trying to go vegan for ages, but I've developed so many food intolerances that it's been really difficult. I cut out all red meat decades ago, and have developed an intolerance to eggs, so they're gone. But I've still been eating chicken and fish and I really wanted to stop, especially the chicken because I don't want to contribute to factory farming. But whenever I try and replace it with extra vegetables, I get gastric issues. Today I found out about FODMAPs and it turns out I've been eating high-FODMAP veggies like mushrooms and broccoli. If I switch to low-FODMAP ones like carrots and courgettes I might be able to increase my veg intake without getting sicker. And I've been putting my food intake into cron o meter and I think I might just have to give up trying to be totally vegan and accept eating a bit of fish each day to meet my nutrient requirements. At least it's not factory farmed, I suppose. So I'm going to swap chicken for fish and change the veg I'm eating and see if I feel any better. Of course, there are mercury concerns with fish but apparently white fish is OK every day. Sainsburys does bags of frozen white fish quite cheap, I will try those.
  I feel a renewed determination to try and improve my health because I've found a "hobby" (not the right word but can't think of a better one) that I want to get into. Many years ago I read The Mists of Avalon and absolutely loved it. It's about Pagan priestesses living on the isle of Avalon together, along with Merlin the Druid, learning magic. Ever since then, I have really wanted to live like that but I thought there was no chance. But I recently found out that there has been a Druid revival and there's a thing called The Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, and you can literally do a course to become a Druid and join the organisation. I am really keen on this idea, and for the first time in ages I have a bit of hope that I might be able to improve my life at least a little. At least to no longer feel relentless, crushing hopelessness and misery with nothing in my future but su1c1d£.
  My mood always goes up and down drastically, I sometimes find myself keen on an idea but then difficulties arise with it or I end up too unwell to go through with it, so maybe I will give up on this but right now I feel really keen on trying to improve my health as much as possible and if I win my benefit appeal I will use some of the backpay to do the Druid course. If only my tendon would heal up and I could walk outside for more than 5 minutes at a time that would be a huge help too.
  EDIT: No, I can't do it. I need to find a way to be vegan. Everything inside me is telling me to.
- Congrats! I'm housebound most days of the week, and that's with the best treatment during my the time I've been disabled so far. That shit can be worse than mere quarantining. It's so good to breathe and move around outside with different scenery. Seeing birds without a glass pane separating you both. Maybe petting a passing dog. It's very good to be walking outside.
  I hope that tendon calms down. I wonder if antiinfamotory meals would help you. Wishing you all the strength. You sound courageously motivated.
  
  Anti inflammatory meals? Like what? I'm interested in trying whatever it takes, but due to my cancer treatment I have developed a lot of food intolerances.
  *You sound courageously motivated. * Thanks, but I am not at all. I wish i was. I actually feel on the brink of su1c1d£ all the time.
- Glad to hear you're back on your feet comrade, and that you got some assistance with the car. Hopefully things will continue in a better direction for ya.
  
  Thanks, I hope so. There's a new hobby I want to partake in that i can do from home but due to my medical issues I just don't have the mental energy. I've been feeling so tired. Also to get started it would cost money which I don't have, and I already need to make a food aid post later today (when more people might see it). I am not going to make an aid post for a hobby, but f I win my benefit appeal and get some more energy I am going to do it though.

Received a 40k hospital bill from my time in the ICU today because Medicaid didn't want to cover it. I love America so much
- Ouch. What happens if someone can't pay it?
  
  My credit takes a massive hit, but that's pretty much it. Can kiss my opportunity of getting out of sober living good-bye though
- Disturbing. I'm so sorry. Are you able to fight the rejection?
  Idk anything about how to do that, but after the CEO got shot, I read how people more often receive previously rejected coverage the more repeatedly and insistently they fight with more requests. Because Anthem insurance keeps track of who will cave upon rejection amd who's not worth the time trying to keep rejecting. (Anthem is who privatized Medicaid, right?)
  In the meantime, maybe you can set up a mutual aid fund about this.
- That is insane...sorry you're having to deal with this and hope you're holding up ok

The disabled comm could maybe use some new mods. Only roux and AshenWolf have posted lately (both 2 days ago). khizuo posted 24 days ago, hexbee 1 month ago, and ReadFanon 4 months ago (and Ivysaur is a deleted account). Some of them may be online, just not posting. But if they aren't, we will be down to only Roux once AshenWolf leaves.
- Taking a couple ideas from the trans comm could be beneficial, already copied the fortnightly posting of em_poc mega.
  Modding more people to distribute load since neurospicy people burnout faster.
  Sign-ups for megas so people who anticipate having spoons can volunteer, also since scheduling and deadlines can help some neurospicy conditions.
- I'm open to adding mods if the others are. I know I've fallen down on the job and I've been a bit quiet on hb lately because I'm doing IRL activism and it's taken a lot of my free time. Thanks for putting up the new mega btw. I think we had discussed in the past about allowing for non-mod users to post megas like over on the trans comm. I'm also cool with this and support it fully.
  
  While I am still recovering, I'd be up to become a mod in a couple of weeks since I really appreciate the mega and the comm. I can't say when I'm ready tho, so maybe now is not a good time yet. I'll chime in once I'm doing better

I should be doing chores but I'm completely
, just laying in bed cuddling
- I did the dishwasher
  
  (I was originally going to use a celebration emoji, but I didn't find one when searching :celebrat)
  
  Sisyphus still feels very accurate, especially when it comes to chores. I'm proud of you
- The alt text of that catgirl-flop should be "tired", like I put in the markdown (![tired](https://hexbear.net/api/v3/image_proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2Fchapo.chat%2Fpictrs%2Fimage%2F7a677d1e-f9f7-4d61-97af-c2e17920403c.png "emoji catgirl-flop"), like the syntax says) instead it is the title ("catgirl-flop").
  I had changed it to help with accessibility, a visual person can see that the image for catgirl-flop is tired, but e.g. a screen reader would read out I should be doing chores but I'm completely catgirl-flop, where I had hoped it would read out I should be doing chores but I'm completely tired.
  Edit: It doesn't seem to be a problem for non-emoji images.
  
  its intentional, because the markdown renderer generates the html directly. We had a script injection vuln because of it in the earlier days after the migration.
  if a local emoji is found, it uses the data associates with the local emoji, not necessarily the data thats stored in the markdown. There's probably a better way to handle it nowadays, but haven't had a look at it in a while.

Thanks for the new mega, hope everyone is hanging in there okay

59 comments