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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

coeliacmccarthy [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net

8mo ago

happy birthday solider

45 comments

NO ONE LOVE ME
BECAIUSE I ' M ‎ POOR

I love these accounts. They're set up to autogenerate a handful of templates. When one of the commenters is an actual human, they're prime people-watching. This photo is of course its own genre for them:
Sitting in traffic with Rebecca Black celebrating her 25th birthday. - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=448024838162815&set=a.318863487745618&type=3&_rdr
Same thing but both legs are amputated and cars are imminently about to hit them: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448016328163666&set=a.318863487745618
Two soldiers celebrating one's 25th birthday while sitting in traffic. Both are double amputees: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448016164830349&set=a.318863487745618
Two soldiers celebrating one's 25th birthday while sitting in traffic. One is a double amputee, the other is uninjured: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448008561497776&set=a.318863487745618
A double amputee soldier and a woman in an American flag bodysuit celebrating her 25th birthday on an even busier motorway: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448008244831141&set=a.318863487745618
A street urchin and a wizard celebrating the wizard's birthday, age unknown legs intact, next to a road: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448005938164705&set=a.318863487745618
Two old Sikh men, ages unknown legs intact, celebrating both of their birthdays on a motorway: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447997871498845&set=a.318863487745618
A wizard and old Tim Pool, ages unknown legs intact, celebrating both of their birthdays on a road with a robust metro system: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447997281498904&set=a.318863487745618
Tom Hanks in Castaway and a garden gnome, ages unknown legs intact, celebrating both of their birthdays on a road with no visible mass transit: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447997218165577&set=a.318863487745618
A single amputee soldier crying in a missile silo while holding a sign that says "TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY NO ONE LOVE BECAUSE AM POOR": https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447629144869051&set=a.318863487745618
A double amputee soldier crying in a missile silo in the forest while holding a sign that says "TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY NO ONE LOVES BECAUSE I AM POOR": https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447588771539755&set=a.318863487745618
A double amputee soldier with Terminator prosthetics in a missile silo in the mountains holding a giant computer chip next to a placard that says "TODAY IS MS BIRTHDAY NO OONE LOVE LOVE BECAUSE I AM POOR": https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447585464873419&set=a.318863487745618
A double amputee soldier being ignored by his entire family while holding a sign that says TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY "NO ONE LOVES ME BECAUSE (I'M POOR): https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450442697921029&set=a.318863487745618
Three soldiers in a bunker, one taking COVID precautions, surrounded by eggs/yarn/succulents/old cameras/jars of honey: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450328801265752&set=a.318863487745618
A whole series of mashups with Jesus and female pilots: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450160244615941&set=a.318863487745618
One where it's a wizard pilot and a female pilot: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450097667955532&set=a.318863487745618
A demon and an angel watching a child browse the internet but the child agrees with the demon: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450084117956887&set=a.318863487745618
Jesus with "AMEN SKIP" written on his halo along with a female pilot surrounded by construction machinery and crashing planes: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450079801290652&set=a.318863487745618
- I'd want to say only facebook grandmas fall for shit like this but some of the comments are like damn you're under 80 and you think this is real?
  
  The organic interactions are so weird. It's like Elsagate for adults. They see Jesus or a soldier and they clap because they know that guy.
- A double amputee soldier with Terminator prosthetics in a missile silo in the mountains holding a giant computer chip next to a placard that says "TODAY IS MS BIRTHDAY NO OONE LOVE LOVE BECAUSE I AM POOR": https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447585464873419&set=a.318863487745618
  New fear unlocked: whatever the fuck is happening in his left leg.
  
  One hell of a pressure ulcer. His hyper-advanced terminator leg is poorly fitted which says a lot about the quality of healthcare at the future VA.
- I wish I had a Facebook account so I could see some of those.
  
  Most of them are sequential if you can click on the first one or google Babies adorable facebook Happy birthday solider. I don't have an account, used that search string, and was able to view the posts on my desktop.
- Fascinating stuff
- I lost both my legs posing for birthday photos in the middle of a freeway.
- SKIP
  
  À̴̖͍͇̜̈̋͋͘͘͜͠M̴̨̨̡̙̥̠̠̌̎̔̉̕Ë̷̙́̽̔̃̒̏N̷̟͈͈̈͛̈́A̸̟͕͉̥͙̯̬̠͇̿̏̏͒̔̓́̌̅M̴̨̙̲̼̃Ė̷̛̖͉̣͗̆͊̿̒̈́̽N̷͎͎̄̅̓Ä̷̡͓̬͎̩͔͈͖̞́̾͊̃͒̌͝M̷̮̱͕̠̞̗͗͜͜Ê̷̺̬̮̽̒́̕N̶͎͕̹̔͛̍͐͊͜Ȧ̴̰̻̮̹̜̃̆̀̎͐̾̈́M̴̰͗̐̓͛͗́͗͝Ę̶̡͔̩̣̩͎̦̙͑N̴̫̰̙̹̞͕͖̐A̸͎̖̬̽̀́̏̒̓͐M̵̢̯̪̟̭͓͛͜ͅE̵͍̎̿̈́́̽̂̒̽͗̉N̴̡͕̯̄̒͗͑̓̍͐̈̕A̸̯̘̫̥̞̲̝̿̆͛͂̎M̴̫͙̹͖͙̫͇̠͊͒̈́͐̓́̊̑͘͝E̶̗͋̓͋̾̀̑͒̀N̵͉̺̤͓͔̊͊̈́̇̍̕͘͠Å̵͍̳̱͝M̵̧͚͈̩̟̗̾̌
- this is the only shit that can still put a smile on my face

war man sad

No one love you because you don't got no friggin pants on dude.
- Hard disagree. I love dudes even harder without their pants.
- The pants probably wouldn't fit over the cardboard embedded in his legs anyway
- hey he might be wearing short shorts uh alongside the military top for some reason
- He can’t afford pants 😭
- Walter White destroyed

That's a hell of a paper cut.

Get those flags off the floor you damn commie

Could not find a single soldier to hold a cardboard sign surrounded by American flags.

I too have a bunch of flags littered around my workplace.

What's he doing in a 1970s soviet power plant control room?

Poor Private GIIIION
- I like how any time it produces text it looks like a Cyrillic Lovecraftian language.

our brave cybertroops

I may have spoken too soon about AI, there may be some artistic merit after all.

Please ban AI from SEO shit

Thank you for your service sir 🫡

AMEN

The sign is readable this time. Was it included in the prompt?

hmm who will i exploit with my garbage content today

❤️😊🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Damn they stole my sign

FLAG CODE VIOLATION FLAG CODE VIOLATION LOOK AT THIS FUCKER HE'S VIOLATING THE FLAGS

scary how the text is almost flawless now from the algorithms
- I was thinking it was added afterwards. Look at the attempt at text for the name badges
  
  Look at the word BECA\USE

45 comments