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it's a crapshoot, when i went to my local pride it was half cops carrying thin blue line flags and zero people gendered me right even after being corrected, and i only felt more alienated the longer i was there and the more people i talked to.
the gay bar i ended up in was even worse for trans acceptance, literally the first thing said to me as i walked in the door was "you're actually a guy right?" (i was dressed up as fem as i could manage with my time budget and assets), and i spent most of my time alternating between trying to escape a badly cross-dressed chaser and being shouted at by some drag queen that took offense to me walking past her so many times in my bids to escape that creep.
i honestly feel lucky for not winding up getting SA'd or worse, i've never been made to feel so uncomfortable before or since. all in all, it was pretty emotionally damaging, especially as i was only recently out and had just lost my entire social circle about it. i wish people wouldn't talk up "the community" to newly out folks because "the community" doesn't fucking exist, your local cliques do. and some of those are going to be filled with awful people, because being gay doesn't make you a decent human.
i'm not saying every city's pride is going to be like this, but if you're not familiar with the local scene definitely go with friends (actual friends, not some random gay person who says they want to be your friend so they can borrow a bunch of money and then ditch you at some random gay club and then block your number when you're not happy about it, the way i did), and bring a weapon.
tl;dr easily among the worst experiences of my life, and i'm never going again
i've never gone, and this encapsulates some of my many fears and doubts.
i'm really sorry that happened to you, and i hope that you have real friends in your life now that are there for you ❤️
you know, the worst part of that experience was all the absolute gaslighting i received anytime i tried to discuss my experience, both online and in meatspace. lemmy is like the only place i've found where i can be real about my experiences with the gay scene in that city and not get shouted down or accused of concern trolling.
anyway i got the hell out of that entire state a couple years ago and now keep to myself waaaay out in the middle of nowhere with my wife and cats and spend my time making silly computer games. life's good without that clique-centric social performance crap wearing on me.
like i said, bring a good friend that you know well, and a weapon as your local laws and rules at the event permit. a lot of my situation stemmed from having neither.
at this point, i'm not planning to go. i have no one to go with me, don't own or feel comfortable having a weapon, and live in a generally unsafe place (Louisiana). i'll attempt to go to a support group next month. right now i have no one.
The traditional weapon for Pride, as I understand it, is a brick, correct?
And what state so I can avoid it? I want out of my state (Ohio) and I'm more inclined to take someone's personal experience in mind than some random post saying "oh X state is soOOooOo supportive".
nice reference, i was thinking more along the lines of a stun gun or knife, or even a small firearm.
this was in Austin, TX, which 1) should explain why i think bringing a firearm to a parade is appropriate, and 2) i shouldn't have to say don't go to Texas, not even with the justification that "well Austin is more progressive". it is not progressive it's neoliberal af and full of douchebag techbros and yuppies. go west or east, don't go south.
DEFINITELY no plans for Texas, bad enough I was born there, lucky to have left the state before I was even 5 years old
Hell I have no plans to live further south than Ohio, I don't handle "hot" or... sunlight.
i wouldn't call that a weapon, in the context that it was used. more of a specialty tool and now a symbol.