How do you find the strength to keep grinding rather than living?
How do you find the strength to go on, day in day out at work?
I get up at 6:30 AM. I have a little over an hour commute each day. I work my 8 to 17 job. by the time I get home its around 18:15 so overall I am giving close to 12 hours of my day to work and coming back home I am tired and beaten all I do is shower, cook dinner, eat it, and then laze around on youtube like a zombie until I fall asleep around 21 only to start the race anew tomorrow
Half of my weekend is spent on house keeping chores (living alone, I get the pleasure of doing all of them alone)
the latter half is spent mostly lazing online because I neither have the strength, nor the time, to seriously indulge any hobbies at best I mindlessly play some video game but I cant say I really enjoy it because I am zoned out with the fatigue of the past week and the stress of the new work week ahead.
Next week will be my 3rd year in my current job and honestly I have no idea how I survived that long, or how long I can survive in this state. Whatever this is, this aint living its being a zombie.
Try to reduce your commute time. Ideally, switch to a job where you can work from home. Try to reduce your fixed costs as much as possible. Consume as little as possible. Become as self-sufficient as possible, so you are less dependent, which in turn reduces the pressure.
As much as I want, I couldn't. I already commute by rail which is there fastest possibility. And I couldn't find a closer tech job nor a remote job in the 2 years I've been searching (still searching) Most tech jobs are hybrid at most and 90% of then are in another town an additional 2h by rail and rent is crazy all around that town.
I live in this town specifically so I could be free of financial pressure and be actually able to save money for life goals like buying a home instead of renter hell.
Spam your resume on whatever job searching sites you can, if you haven't already. The best way to get work is via networking or recruiters hitting you up. You're gonna have to shift through a lot of shitty recruiters with shitty positions but good stuff does show up every once in a while.
Could you hire someone to clean so then you get some of your free time back?
I used to be in a similar situation with a 1.5-2 hour commute each way and I totally understand where you are coming from. It's not worth moving to have a short commute if you will hate where you live. You just need to be annoying and tell everyone and their mom you're looking for remote work.