General Discussion Thread - Juche 112, Week 50
Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home. Happy Hanukkah. In the time-honoured tradition of our cult, here is our weekly discussion thread.
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This is either a bit, or you're suffering from mental illness. Please talk to other queer people in real life before making up wild proclamations about the essential moral character of sexuality, but don't do that before talking to a therapist and working out your personal issues. Your self-hatred isn't politics.
the idea that your sexual attraction to women makes you inherently misogynistic isn't a position that you picked up from any actually existing communist party or Marxist writer. I don't believe it's an idea you picked up from any living human outside your own head. On the vanishingly small chance that this isn't a bit, I sincerely urge you to work through your self-hatred before pursuing any real life relationship with someone of any gender that you're either not genuinely attracted to, or that you feel ashamed of your attraction to.
Confronting your own internalized misogyny would be commendable if that's what you were doing. Blaming your internalized misogyny on an involuntary biological sexual response is not. Claiming that you can change your own sexual attraction but are somehow powerless over your own negative thoughts and actions toward women suggests a reactionary worldview that just straight up doesn't exist outside of religious bigotry. You did not arrive at this conclusion from reading Marx. Nobody else in history reached that conclusion from reading Marx, and you aren't somehow the first to divine it. You could only have arrived at this conclusion through adopting it in the only place it actually exists in the world (religious fundamentalism) and substituting terms in a way that you found aesthetically palatable.
You've claimed in this thread that you believe you can choose to force yourself to be sexually attracted to men against your own will as a political act of defiance against internalized feelings of misogyny. Find me a single actually existing communist party or political grouping of queer people outside of fringe religious cases that take this position.
This claim does nothing to address the root of your misogyny (your own beliefs and actions toward women) and instead adopts the extremely homophobic idea that queer people have been fighting against for longer than you've been alive: that they're simply choosing to be queer, and that they could just as easily choose not to be if they wanted to badly enough.
If this is just a bizarre expression of you discovering a genuine attraction to men and struggling with reconciling your bisexuality with your sense of self then I wish you the best in working through it. If you think you can just adopt a marginalized identity without authentically feeling that way to avoid having to do the work of decoupling your misogyny from your attraction to women, then I again urge you to please talk to a mental health professional in real life about this. It doesn't do you or any potential partners any favors to be carrying around this sense of shame and resentment or to fake an attraction that you don't feel. Both are extremely shitty things to put on another person.
So I read your first comment above and then I read this and I got a bit lost. Is your problem that you have heterosexual tendencies and that you think that's wrong? Are you bisexual because you're communist?
I think they might be assuming that all masculinity is toxic masculinity, or their tastes aren't as "vanilla" as they claimed in their original statement and they're projecting their own personal demons onto everyone else.
I think it is just as impossible to "get rid of heterosexuality" as it is to get rid of non-heterosexuality.
kinda sounds like you're advocating for conversion therapy...
You don't believe that sexuality isn't a choice, meaning you believe that it is a choice? It's definitely not. And there's no reason a communist can't be heterosexual; that just means that you haven't been -- or at least aren't aware of ever having been -- attracted to someone of your gender (yet; you can't be sure that it'll never happen or that it hasn't happened without your knowledge)
Sexuality is not sex. People that are violent towards others in a sexual way do so without consent. You can be hetero and violent, gay and violent, pan and violent, etc. You having violent sexual fantasies is not linked with your sexuality, which is something that you cannot choose. Yes, our patriarchic society is in many ways sexually exploitative towards women and other minorities, but that does not mean being heterosexual is a bad thing. Also, there is no marxist view that says you cannot be heterosexual. That would be an extremely weird ideology.
Please talk to a professional about whatever issues you are experiencing with your sexuality. It seems like you got quite a few things mixed up here and I don't think Lemmygrad is the right place for you to work those things out.