5d ago

Tender moments

23 comments

Good ending: they both were looking for friends outside of relationship
- Better ending: they found their third
  
  Best ending: they both found out they weren't happy in the relationship, moved on, and found their person
  
  Bestest ending: and they continue spotting each other on Tinder while in their new happy relationship.
  
  This bestest ending has levels of sadness. You made me sad. You ruined it.
  Please say you are sorry so I can go pick up my new (used) car with good vibes only
  
  Is it not about two ever expanding polycules, recruiting more and members, slowly becoming the most powerful factions in the world?
  
  I’ll say sorry, but through our Tinder profiles.
  
  Eh, doubt that would be better. Among the Ethically Non-Monogmous, couples looking for a third are considered the worst. They're invariably looking for a woman to play out the guy's MFF fantasy. She might be OK with it as a birthday present for him or whatever, but it's not something she'd choose to do otherwise. If they do manage to find someone, it often doesn't go well.
  I think these couples need to put some cash aside and find an escort.
  
  "looking for a woman to play out the guy's MFF fantasy"
  Sometimes the driving force is a bi-curious woman. What usually happens is that the boyfriend agrees to it because he sees a MDF threesome as being hot, and sapphic love as being less real or serious. Then he freaks out during/after the hookup because of insecurity he feels when seeing his girlfriend enthusiastically making out with a woman. I've learned the unpleasant way that it's no fun to be unicorn hunted.
  The worst part is when they try to hide what they're doing. I once only found out a woman had a boyfriend and that they were looking for a MFF threesome on the third date. Trying to hide their intentions is gross because it shows they have some awareness of how people don't like being instrumentalised in this way.
- Great ending:
  I was tired of my lady
  \ We'd been together too long
  \ Like a worn out recording
  \ Of a favorite song
  So while she lay there sleepin'
  \ I read the paper in bed
  \ And in the personal columns
  \ There was this letter I read
  If you like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ If you're not into yoga
  \ If you have half a brain
  \ If you like makin' love at midnight
  \ In the dunes on the cape
  \ Then I'm the love that you've looked for
  \ Write to me and escape
  I didn't think about my lady
  \ I know that sounds kinda mean
  \ But me and my old lady
  \ Had fallen into the same old dull routine
  So I wrote to the paper
  \ Took out a personal ad
  \ And though I'm nobody's poet
  \ I thought it wasn't half bad
  Yes, I like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ I'm not much into health food
  \ I am into champagne
  \ I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
  \ And cut through all this red tape
  \ At a bar called O'Malley's
  \ Where we'll plan our escape
  So I waited with high hopes
  \ And she walked in the place
  \ I knew her smile in an instant
  \ I knew the curve of her face
  It was my own lovely lady
  \ And she said, "Oh, it's you"
  \ Then we laughed for a moment
  \ And I said, "I never knew"
  "That you like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ And the feel of the ocean
  \ And the taste of champagne
  \ If you like making love at midnight
  \ In the dunes on the cape
  \ You're the lady I've looked for
  \ Come with me and escape"
  If you like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ If you're not into yoga
  \ If you have half a brain
  \ If you like making love at midnight
  \ In the dunes on the cape
  \ I'm the love that you've looked for
  \ Write to me and escape
  Yes, I like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ I'm not much into health food
  \ I am into champagne
  \ I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
  \ And cut through all this red tape
  \ At a bar called O'Malley's
- My friend was also looking for friends on Tinder. Now he's divorced.
- Twist: they are actually in a polycule.
  
  I keep thinking a polycule is a type of polygon and that it can be mathematically represented in Euclidean and non-Euclidean space.
- In my case, yes, I was much more desperate for gaming buddies.

23 comments