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Release the lawyers! Set the litigators to maximum strength! Increase ship velocity to ramming speed!
There's been a legal breech on decks nine through twelve .... we're losing dozens of filing cabinets of legal documents .. on company letterhead!!!! ... and investigators are boarding the ship!!
Casualties... 8 crew members subpoenaed, 15 sent to mandatory arbitration. Let's not let their sacrifices be in vain. Ready the counterclaims. Prepare to file!
Lawyers in nice Italian suits marching with expensive brief cases down the corridors ..... "Prepare to be appealed, litigation is futile"
Lawyer gets blasted in the chest with multiple laser fire .... falls over ... another lawyer takes his place ... "Prepare to be appealed, litigation is futile"