Chronic illness vent
I have been dealing for years with stomach and gastric issues.
It blows my mind that I went nearly a decade of my life without ever having any kind of stomach illness other than the kind of "knots in stomach" triggered by stress.
Now, for the last half decade or so, it's just this constant cycle of getting beaten up behind the dumpster after school by my bully stomach.
I just need this shit to stop. My sanity is waning.
I feel you, doc wants me in for a colonoscopy and upper GI scan. :( Apparently I'm losing blood somewhere and spit-roasting is how they find it? 🤔
Oh dammit made me snort. Thanks for that!
Hope I don't snort, I might die!
Haha, dammit, can your docs keep a straight face when you're conscious?
I apparently scare my doctors on a regular basis so I try to keep it light.
I was at my cardiologist and they couldn't get my blood pressure.
"Well, I assure you, I do have blood pressure because I'm sitting here talking to you, right?"
"Yeah, it's 58/47, WE DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE DOING THAT!"
Another time I was hospitalized... wake up at 6 AM, fiddling around on my phone, nurse comes in.
"Were you asleep about an hour ago?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Your heart stopped for 8 seconds."
"Um, 'thank you'? I don't know the correct response to that."