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Me: "Wow, I see how someone could get addicted to seeing objects as distinct and not conceptual piles"
For real though, I was terrified that ADHD meds would make me feel good, and I'd have to fight that urge/dependency for the rest of my life, and instead they just... give me relief from my symptoms. Insane how brain chemistry works. One brain's neuro-candy is another brain's prescription glasses.
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I've accidentally taken a double dose of my stimulants a few times and holy shit, I will never do that again on purpose. I felt an unpleasant manic energy and generally jittery. There's absolutely zero chance of me abusing or ODing on this drug.
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I personally find my ADHD meds exhausting. Like, yes I need them. But when the week is up I feel a little exhausted with everything I've had to keep up with. I don't see them as fun, but I know other people do. They just make me function and I really try to take as little as I can get away with and still be a functional person.
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The exhausting part is one of the benefits to me. I slept like shit for... My life... Until I was diagnosed at 30. No more uncomfortably restless legs, no more doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out a good way to fall asleep.
It's not that they are fun, it's that I can't have real fun without them. Best I can do is find a way to be comfortably distracted from the feeling of not accomplishing anything that I know won't be satisfied by accomplishing things.
Without the pills dopamine becomes the estranged aunt the family doesn't talk about but is severely missed.
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29 comments