and if it was not of you, i’d dream of a dreamless death

cold morning in april
\ and fading fast:
\ the shape of her,
\ half sharp, half real,
\ enough for now,
\ make it enough,
\ make it last one more minute,
\ just one more minute,
\ stop, just stop,
\ wait,
\ just another shared breath,
\ just one more whole life behind closed eyes,
\ i see the garden,
\ the green death, the blood bricks,
\ you speak a solemn spell,
\ the knotweed trembles,
\ the pines cry,
\ i wish you’re real again,
\ not a collection of days,
\ not a name carved,
\ not a tree in a deaf forest falling,
\ just to hear you,
\ what i wouldn't kill and bury and kill again,
\ but i break apart at the thought of a tear,
\ and the days gotta roll by,
\ and the train never takes a break,
\ station to station to station to black,
\ and i need you back,
\ i hear and smell and see and feel and love above all things real: a shimmer of a shadow,
\ but there you are,
\ the mind cradling
\ the heart it seems,
\ and if it was not of you, i’d dream of a dreamless death