[SATIRE][PARODY] Let's do a little bit of harm reduction math
[SATIRE][PARODY] Let's do a little bit of harm reduction math
An argument that RadLibs have been making lately is that there's no universe in which a pro-Palestinian candidate gets in reach of the presidency, so you're obligated to support the least-bad option. So true!
Now let's do a little extrapolation.
Anyone who's glanced at even a single page of climate science knows that there is no universe in which the American people and a stable, sustainable global ecosystem coexist. Given this unfortunate but unavoidable reality, it is everyone's duty to support the Harm Reduction of exterminating 330 million Americans.
Since the odds of humanity going extinct in the next century are approaching 100%, there is no scenario in which zero people die to climate catastrophe.
Given that people are obligated to vote for the candidate who would ensure that 99.9% of Gazans are killed instead of 100%, it is equally true that you must throw all your weight behind the scenario that ensures only 330 million deaths instead of of 8 billion.
If you oppose this Politically Unavoidable Genocide, you are simply a privileged purity Leftist who doesn't care about Harm Reduction!
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Parody? Why?
The last time I suggested that getting rid of Americans would be a net good, people got really mad for some reason.
Question: Does that include Americans living outside the USA?
...I suppose it would, actually, 'cause there's probably more NATO ghouls, sexpats, large adult sons in universities, and richos with summer homes, among the "Americans outside the USA", than there are actually half-decent people.
Alright, alright, let me rephrase: Does "getting rid of Americans" include Americans born abroad, who have never lived in the United States? Asking for a friend.
I don't have an answer right now, but I promise that if I ever approach a position of power, I will have a fully-detailed policy paper on the American Question.
I mean, I would just like to know whether I should expect a blue-haired anime girl dressed up as the Statue of Liberty to turn me into A&W Root Beer, or whether I should expect to be choked on a white sand beach next to a red-colored lake neath a star-spangled dark blue sky.
I don't know, but you're in charge of propaganda posters now.
People or yanks?
I didn't have my Hitler Particle Detector handy.
RevisionistsYou wouldn't need to get rid of all of them.
Just the binding structure around them, and maybe 10 million to be fully expropriated and put in residential reparation programs.