Two of the German military’s new spy satellites appear to have failed in orbit

Now, see - here's some ripe fodder for conspiracy theories. Look, a commercial partner launched these 'nonfunctional spy satellites' who will be definitely owned by 'Not a government!' in orbit! Look, you can point your radios at them, totally silent and non-communicative! You can stop looking at these guys, they were a bust. Guess we'll need to launch TWO MORE to make up for it......

/s?