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Bulletins and News Discussion from May 20th to May 26th, 2024 - Never Break TrueAnon's Rules For Life - COTW: Azerbaijan

Image is of Azerbaijan's President, Aliyev (left) and Armenia's President, Pashinyan (right) in a meeting a month or two after Azerbaijan took Nagorno-Karabakh.

  1. Never go to a second location.
  2. Always get the interior ministry post.
  3. Never get in a helicopter or any small aircraft.
  4. If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you.
  5. If someone tells you they’re not going to kill you, they’re calming you down to kill you later.
  6. Never give up your nukes.
  7. Never release the opposition's political prisoners.
  8. Never let the opposition delay elections.
  9. If someone starts to get into German runes, drop them.
  10. Never trust a South American with a German name.
  11. Never move anywhere for a religion.
  12. Never go into the sewers unless you’re a sewer guy.
  13. If someone’s trying to get you to commit a crime, they're FBI (sometimes CIA or military intelligence).
  14. Never become an FBI informant.
  15. If you do become an FBI informant, record everything.
  16. Never relinquish your arms.
  17. Always get it in writing.
  18. If you keep gambling, you’ll eventually win.
  19. Never talk to cops without a lawyer.
  20. Always pay your mercenaries.
  21. Don’t let anyone take your passport.

To add an addendum to rule 3, never put your President and Foreign Minister in the same helicopter or small aircraft. Especially if doing so in bad weather conditions. Especially if you're already under threat from a hostile nuclear power in the region with a proclivity for terrorism (though this probably isn't Israel's doing, in this particular case).

Anyway, Azerbaijan. Not a great country, I think. Did some genocides. They're a petrostate that is hosting Cop29, which I suppose is a way for the bourgeoisie to implicitly convey their contempt for the green movement. They got weapons from Israel, too.

Just for the record, there's an Iranian province called East Azerbaijan, which is not the same as Azerbaijan.

The COTW (Country of the Week) label is designed to spur discussion and debate about a specific country every week in order to help the community gain greater understanding of the domestic situation of often-understudied nations. If you've wanted to talk about the country or share your experiences, but have never found a relevant place to do so, now is your chance! However, don't worry - this is still a general news megathread where you can post about ongoing events from any country.

The Country of the Week is Azerbaijan! Feel free to chime in with books, essays, longform articles, even stories and anecdotes or rants. More detail here.

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1.3K comments

  • ICJ orders Israel to halt Rafah offensive

    In his reading of the ruling, Judge Salam says the court orders Israel to halt its Rafah offensive.

    https://aje.io/hg54p3?update=2922734

    Of course, Israel isn't going to comply but still a L.

    • I think Israel will not comply, and it’s going to be a pretty big L for them.

      By not complying with a clear UN-backed demand, they are only making themselves into a bigger global pariah. Israel thinks they can go it alone and they don’t need support from anyone, but that’s patently untrue. There will be increasing pressure across the world to cut economic ties. And even further than that, as Israel just keeps increasing their negative perception around the world, immigration into Israel - which is existentially important for the Zionist project - could start to dry up. Obviously this isn’t going to end Israel by itself, but it is absolutely one step among many that will get us there.

      • absolutely. Israel isn't Russia. it's not even South Africa. it is a small country in Western Asia which has vulnerable offshore gas fields and is reliant on foreign labour for agriculture and desalination for water. it physically cannot handle being cut off from the world even if they try and pretend that this is the case (such as how they're pretending that they're unaffected by the Red Sea blockade while Eliat languishes and road logistics are unable to replace those carried by massive ocean ships, surprise surprise).

        with sufficient economic/diplomatic (or indeed military) opposition, an Israeli collapse would be rapid. months, not years. before it, people will be like "oh, but Israel has X military strength, Y planes, an entire security state built up over decades, full American support, I think it's optimistic to predict that this country will go down so easily" and afterwards, people will be like "how the fuck did we not expect this country to collapse sooner? like, good god, it has so many glaring vulnerabilities."

        • When it’s all said and done, I will be very interested to see how Israel addresses the situation of Palestinian labor in Israel. I saw that before Oct 7, there were over 200,000 workers who lived in the West Bank (maybe Gaza too, not sure) and worked in “israel” proper. The Israelis are saying they will never let those laborers back in and the idea of using Indian or Bangladeshi migrant labor has been floated. That is absurd as Yglesias’ “one billion Americans” idea. Israel is a deeply white supremacist state - I would argue they are the most maybe the most racialized state in the world right now. They do allow some token racial minorities in so long as they are Jewish, but you can read all about how they are treated as second class citizens at best. The idea that the racist Israelis will accept a couple hundred thousand brown people to work and live among them… I just can’t imagine that happening. And that’s not even considering the logistical issues that would be involved in bringing over and housing 200k migrant workers.

          But then again, the Israelis have taken a hard core Nazi turn, and I think they’re serious about not letting Palestinians back in. We’ll see if they’re serious enough to torpedo their own economy over it though.

    • Extremely normal response

      For context, it’s a quote from Ben Gurion on Nakba Day 1955, while the Palestinian people were kept under military rule. Zionist speeches and history are one eternal self-suck

    • The /r/worldnews thread is fun. Lots of people saying the UN supports Hamas and some even saying they were involved in October 7th. Wild world over there

    • The specific wording of it also implies genocide if the Rafah offensive continues. I wonder if they did that more to halt the US/EU from aiding israel given that it would then legally make them complicit in genocide

    • Decent article about it: The Independent (UK): Biden’s vanishing red line: White House silent as top UN court orders Israel to halt Rafah attack

1321 comments