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I would like 2 concert tickets for uhhh... rather uhhh... I mean, Party Cannon it is then.
Of the ones I could read that may be the best call. Ordering two tickets to Fallujah may not go so great for you.
I think “Bong Hit Hospitalization” is where they really hit their stride.
Cattle Decapitation (top left) are great, but there's a non-zero chance you'll get stabbed at one of their shows
Even more so if you're a cattle.
Funnily enough, cattle would probably be rather safe. From their Wikipedia entry:
Cattle Decapitation's songs protest the exploitation and consumption of animals, the abuse of the environment and subjects such as misanthropy and genocide of the human race. Much of the band's music is based on putting humans in the situations that animals are subjected to, for example animal testing, slaughter, etc. The band's lyrics are largely concerned with human impact on the environment, the ethics of eating meat and animal rights.
Oakland Metro might be alright.