It wasn't the worst movie I have ever seen, but I was constantly distracted by how derivative everything about it was. I was laughing at parts that were meant to be serious because it was just so ridiculous.
What I said when the movie ended was: "it's not exactly bad".
Instead, it's something else. It's not good either. But the one thing I know for sure is that it has enough time to add another half-a-dozen cliché short-stories that don't add anything to the main line. It could have pulled 2 or 3 good one from Matrix.
I thought Jupiter Ascending was kinda half decent, though super uneven and sometimes distractingly bonkers. I thought Valerian had its moments and different casting could have made it into something. I even liked "65" once I realized it was just a small-scale rumination on fatherhood and loss, an acting exercise that happened to have dinosaurs and a light glaze of bad sci-fi.
Oh I've seen it, I actually like quite a number of bad movies. They have a certain charm about them.
This? There's a total of 4 hours that we weren't given - for part one. Characters are setup as a focus then literally never seem again. The overaggressive use of slowmo in all but one fight scene, the complete inconsistency of anything at all whatsoever, from the use of slowmo, camera angles, costuming, accents, weapons & sfx, aliens, character motivations, literally everything. It's all meaningless and it just exists solely because it can. I'm generally supportive of do what you can when you can and why not, it's fun. This was... Not fun.
The only merits this movie has are a couple of decent monologues that posit some philosophy. It is completely devoid of meaning and intent, gives no original takes from its "inspiration" down to straight up stealing scenes from SW and Seven Samurai. And then the movie just sort of ends after the most predictable event and the heroes literally rode off into the sunset.
Some movies are bad, be it on purpose or just as a consequence. Many times these bad movies can still have some merit, be it a certain charm or aspect that makes it particularly humorous.
What makes this movie so, so awful is the fact that it's not trying to be bad. It's fully ernest in how it presents itself as a science fiction film. Z.S. had full control and still couldn't make cohesive narrative in 2.5 hours and we have a 4 hour version on the way. For part one!!! For fucks sake!
I have never felt such disdain for something. I finished it because I was watching it with a friend. At a certain point I just needed to confirm it legitimately was that bad.
There are many, many terrible movies that are far, far better than Rebel Moon. Made by people far less prolific than someone like Z.S.
FWIW - I liked the Z.S. J.L. because it's self indulgent for a reason. This?