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WomensStuff @lazysoci.al
SharkEatingBreakfast @sopuli.xyz
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"Men experience that, too, you know!"

[ This is women-only community. If you do not identify as a woman, please do not comment. Thank you. ]

It absolutely upsets me is that when I bring up women's issues, I often get met with "Men experience that, too!", and that takes away from the attention an issue needs.

This is not me playing to win the "victim olympics", I'm just saying that men really need to listen and realize how exactly women are being treated in these scenarios and why they feel it needs to be brought to attention.

Example: medical discrimination / not having your health being taken seriously as a woman. Do men experience it? Sure! But men absolutely DO NOT experience this in the same way/volume that women do.

Did you know that many clinics will not allow you to get a hysterectomy or your tubed tied without the permission of your spouse? If you are single, they may refuse altogether because "what if your partner wants kids someday?" A HYPOTHETICAL MAN HAS MORE POWER OVER YOUR BODY THAN YOU DO!!!!

Pain being dismissed as "hysterics". Being constantly told that any medical symptoms you are experiencing are a result of """anxiety""". Dismissive of painful menstruation and/or pregnancy, because "woman have been doing this for thousands of years!" Refusing autism diagnosis because "it's not typically a girl thing".. I could go on.

This is not limited to experiences within the medical field. It's.... loooots of things.

Like, fuck.. it's okay to not understand the experience of others. It's like when I hear folks say "Everyone is a little bit OCD! Everyone experiences that sometimes!" like...... no??? Absolutely fucking not, you have no idea what OCD is like, and you're being an insensitive idiot by saying "eVeRyOnEs A lITtLe BiT—" NO THEY'RE FUCKING NOT!

Men face their own issues. Sometimes men's & women's issues overlap. Sometimes there's a little overlap, but women face a much greater degree of fuckery over the issue than men do, and vice versa. That's okay. Just don't invalidate that it may be a larger issue for women than it may be for men.

That's all.

46 comments

  • Hey shark, great points! Women are marginalised a lot and even when we raise women's issues, it often becomes about men! Sorry your post got hit by trolling and thanks to all that reported it

    • Thank you. Disheartened that it does very much that Lemmy in its current state is still a hostile space for women, which is an issue I've brought up before.

      Lemmy has been one of the most accommodating places for trans women, which I love, so it's frankly disgusting that it still is hostile on this specific front.

      • I know it's disappointing. I'm hoping we've just been unlucky this week if it continues I'll see what other security measures I can put in. I'm ruthless with banning but I don't want to be too heavy because I dont want women to feel restricted

        • I was actually someone who suggested this community, specifically because most of the women-centric communities that attempted to migrate here died due to abandonment & lack of moderation. And that happened because of harassment.

          Unfortunately, Lemmy, even as a """progressive""" platform, is still hostile towards women & discussion of women's issues. And sometimes I want to discuss women's issues that might also involve men.

          You are doing a fantastic job moderating, and this is absolutely not your fault. Don't sweat it! You've already done so much, and you are absolutely appreciated. Thank you for all you do here. I am absolutely not strong enough to moderate against such a strong wave of opposition.

          It's something I've grappled with for a long time being here, and I fear this will continue to keep women from forming & growing communities here unless we stay absolutely neutral and never speak about gendered issues that we may face.

          • Thanks Shark I really appreciate it. It's horribly disappointing it's so hostile to women, especially as we've had so many fantastically supportive men comment. We've just got a target on our heads cos of the aggressive men wanting to attack us for talking about our needs. There's a chunk of men that just don't want us to have a voice.

            • Big shoutout to the men who support this community! Both by giving it a shoutout and/or by giving their silent upvotes. đź‘Ť

              Here's the original thread involving my concerns about women-centric communities: https://sopuli.xyz/comment/14244123

              I miss things like "abrathatfits"..

              I'll try to contribute more to conversation & resources here in the future, as well. I've been hesitant to participate, so I'll do my best when I'm able!

46 comments