2d ago

me_irl

i wonder what y'all have to say about this

115 comments

Truly though - What's more life-affirming than showing contempt for your parents' presumption to drag you from the void? It shows you've really weighed your options and decided to stay and bitch.
- Adolescents and younger teens aren't really know for their introspection, I kind of give them a pass for saying that stuff at that stage in their life. At that age, lots of us learn how stupid something is only when we hear it coming out of our own mouths. It becomes really cringe though when they graduate into adulthood and they're still saying that or holding that opinion. At that point even their peers are given them the side eye or saying something like "dude, that doesn't fly anymore. Get your shit together".
  
  Hard disagree, from a 30-something. Two horny people fucked with no protection and now I'm expected to get an education, find and hold employment, be self-sufficient, and be fucking grateful for being forced to do this shit? And all of their inabilities to parent properly, leading to near-debilitating anxiety and stress, is somehow my fault? That I should cater to the two idiots that couldn't take a pill or unwrap a damn condom, because they want a mini-me? That I should blindly follow their religious views, of - again - two people that decided that momentary pleasure was better than lifelong calm and stability, for themselves and others? Two people who want to dictate what I like, what I'm interested in, my political viewpoint, my sexual preferences...? Two idiots that decided that mixing the worst part of one's DNA with the worst part of the other is a wonderful thing to do, and the visual issues of one, the deep constant anxiety of another, the risk factors of cancer and stroke, would be a delightful thing to impose on a new being. And I should fucking be HAPPY about this?! Are you FUCKING SHITTING ME?
  Sincerely, a disabled gay satanic furry - with another disabled sibling (let's do it again!) - who was raised straight and christian and then manipulated and controlled, who is already plagued with health concerns, mental health issues, and had their first stroke at 21 years old. Everybody should freely fuck, it's great!
  (To say 'I wish I was never born' is such an understatement it's actually hilarious.)
  
  Even worse: I was planned. My parents decided to do this to me.
  Nobody fucking asked me when two dumbfucks in their early 20s took it upon themselves to just up and create a life. The most cruel thing you can do to a person is to bring them into this world.
  
  I don't have it as bad as you, but every day I wonder why my parents had me.
  Except I know why, and it disgusts me. No consideration to what I would feel because they wanted another kid.
  
  Well, there was no way to ask you, right? Some people like their lives, perhaps they hoped you'd enjoy it?
  
  Yeah I get the gist of it. But I know the real reason for my birth and it's not purely altruistic.
  
  I'm not saying I regret being born, but I certainly plan on making a suicide device.
  My only fear is we don't stay dead.
  
  Look, as the world's dumbest man you might not realize this but there are lots of suicide devices already on the market or even better free alternatives!
  Why not try a skyscraper? Perhaps wading into a cold ocean and never coming back? You could drive a car into a tree?
  Just trying to save you some time and frustration, plus a few bucks too!
  ...uh seriously though if you want to talk to someone feel free to dm me. Your life has value and I do hope you come to realize this and try your best to find some enjoyment in this world of ours. Of course, I say that as someone who has described life as being "trapped by existence" so I can kind of get what you're feeling. Hang in there, not literally though because tying a noose right can be hard.
  
  Why not try a skyscraper? Perhaps wading into a cold ocean and never coming back? You could drive a car into a tree?
  Two of those tend to leave a mess behind for other people to clear up, and the other seems like a fairly prolonged, unpleasant way to go.
  
  The ocean and the skyscraper both have horror stories aplenty for the dead coming back. In one, you ooze from the dark places, foul, rotting; and in the other you crawl out of the depths, bloated, fetid, teeming with the spawn of crabs and sea horses.
  The car one might just be walking corpse.
  
  Had a neighbor who worked for the Coast Guard. They said every body they fished out of the sea had crabs spilling out of its mouth and anus once it hit the deck.
  
  I'm not saying this to belittle your situation, I have honest sympathy for you (and your sibling), but at some point in an adult's life, no matter how you were raised or what fucked up things your parents did, it has to stop being a excuse for the present day situation. Keep in mind, I'm not saying that's what you're saying here. I'm explaining further my prior post, not dismissing your response.
  Hypothetically if an abusive parent cut off the legs of their child, the resulting adult will always be legless, but that can't be the reason the (now adult) still uses as to why they don't move forward with whatever life they have left.
  
  The fucked up thing my parents did was have children.
  I still love my mom despite that because in basically every other way shes a good person. But it was still fucked up of her.
  
  You're welcome to that opinion of course, but do you use that as a reason to not do anything with yourself? If no, then you're not part of the folks I was referring to.
  
  Its not merely an "opinion", its nearly a universally held moral axiomatic fact that doing something to someone without their consent is, by default, wrong. Maybe you disagree, but most people do not. They usually just don't do any moral analysis to authentically reach the conclusion that birth itself is a moral injustice to the newly born. Because most people are willfully ignorant if the truth is uncomfortable.
  I do stuff for me and people I care about, but I still resent even the expectation that I owe anyone anything, that I was born to inevitably one day die, and that I, having not choose to be here need to just "suck it up" as an adult and be a productive part of a natalist society I largely deem responsible for the grave injustice of anyone's birth.
  I could kill myself and be in the right. I wont do that because death is a lovecraftian horror to me, but I could.
  That said, alternatively, if I could indeed live forever I'd feel a little less disgusted with existence. At least I wouldn't have to face my mortality.
  
  Its not merely an “opinion”, its nearly a universally held moral axiomatic fact that doing something to someone without their consent is, by default, wrong.
  You're having an entirely different conversation than the one I'm having. I'm not arguing the ethical or morality of childbirth. I'm simply pointing out that after you are an adult, all the choices and responsibilities of making your life what you want it to be (or not to be) become yours irrespective of what happened to you prior in childhood. Thats it. No its not fair, but life isn't either.
  and that I, having not choose to be here need to just “suck it up” as an adult and be a productive part of a natalist society I largely deem responsible for the grave injustice of anyone’s birth.
  This is absolutely your choice. There is no requirement that you are a "productive" member of society. You have the power to withdraw from society entirely if you like. There are dead towns scattered all over the world where you could simply walk into a house and start living there and no one would likely know or care for years or decades. You could scratch out a subsistence life eating whatever you could grow in the ground. You might never see another person in your life before you die (likely of preventable injury or disease). If thats what is most important to you in life, you can make that happen.
  
  Well, I should have said this earlier.
  Another complicating factor is that, I do not believe in free will.
  So even though that technically means I can reject your choice based morality as well. I'll concede that it also contradicts my negative emotional feelings towards all parents and my feelings of injustice stemming from natalism and pro-birth being rational. Since... you know, they can't exactly meaningfully choose to be parents because choice is an illusion.
  I'm still angry and depressed though.
  
  Well, I should have said this earlier.
  Another complicating factor is that, I do not believe in free will.
  So even though that technically means I can reject your choice based morality as well
  Most definitions I've heard describing the lack of free will don't mean that you can't do something, but rather you were destined to do that thing. As in, it isn't the rejection of the outcome being true, but rather that you would never not do that thing was not in the cards.
  That doesn't run afoul of what I described above. If you want to go live like a hermit away from society "lack of free will" doesn't prevent that, it just means that you were going to live like a hermit anyway.
  Do you hold a different definition of "no free will"?
  
  I wasn't taking the "living as a hermit" as a good faith suggestion. We're you actually serious? Because that's "If you are unhappy with human existence, go live a worse life than you are already living." My answer is no.
  My issue isn't even just that "We live in a society" (lol), my issue is that society produced my existence and expects me to accept it as my problem.
  My issue with free will is that its a gibberish concept that fundamentally makes no sense. Not that its "free will" vs "pre-destination"
  My definition of "no free will" is that our "will" is based in physical reality, which is primarily made up of highly predictable phenomena, with a extremely and laughably tiny influence from quantum mechanics, which is metaphorically random dice rolls anyway so it doesn't matter.
  A better way to look at my stance though is more to ask yourself, "What is your will actually free from?" If you think there is a metaphysical aspect to our will even then that implies that our will is then determined via the metaphysical and still isn't really free.
  That said, it kind of ties together with the whole "can't choose to be born" issue, because its impossible to choose to even exist or in what environmental context and with what physical body you were born into you can't reasonably say we ever make any true decisions. Our existence stems from a domino effect starting at the big bang (or maybe something before that)
  
  at some point in an adult's life, no matter how you were raised or what fucked up things your parents did, it has to stop being a excuse
  I see where you are coming from, but when going through shit yourself that you can't explain to others, the only thing I can say is "that's easy to to say, not to feel"
  
  but when going through shit yourself that you can’t explain to others, the only thing I can say is “that’s easy to to say, not to feel”
  Thats the point to reach for professional help, as in therapy. We're not born equipped to deal with all the shit life can throw as us. There's no shame in that.
  The problem is not reaching out for help as an adult when you need it.
  
  Therapy doesn't magically fix things.
  I'm in therapy, have been for years. Had a virtual appointment with mine this morning.
  I went to the psych ward last month bc I was actually about to kms, switched antidepressants and I'm on 3x the average doce and a bonus as needed one.
  Still doesn't help enough to make me feel close to normal.
  
  Thats really good! I'm proud of you for taking action for your own health. You're proving my point though. You didn't let whatever your parents did to you hold you back from taking steps on your own. You aren't using how your parents raised you as an excuse to do nothing.
  I want to say I'm glad you didn't go through with that negative thing you mentioned. The world is better with you in it. I know I'm no one to you, but you've made my life better by talking with me here and sharing a human moment. I want you to be here for all the other people you touch positively in the years ahead. Please be here for that.
  
  Not the guy you were talking to but:
  Just because I wish was was not born does not intrinsically mean I wish I was dead. Death is a lovecraftian horror to me, now that I exist. I cannot fathom not existing and the idea that eventually I will be dead terrifies me.
  And in fact, my mortality is a major reason I resent having been born (not the only one). If I never was, I'd not have to face one day not being.
  Being born is a pandora's box. Time flows in only one direction, so that I did not exist before brings me no comfort in the face of someday not existing once again.
  
  Time flows in only one direction, so that I did not exist before brings me no comfort in the face of someday not existing once again.
  The "I cannot fathom not existing" part. You already know what this is like. There were millions of years where you didn't exist. There was no pain, no loss, no yearning, no regret, no boredom no consciousness trapped in an infinite time of waiting or torture. What we will be like after death is just like that. We've been there before, and we'll be there again someday.
  Death is a lovecraftian horror to me, now that I exist. I cannot fathom not existing and the idea that eventually I will be dead terrifies me.
  When I was younger this scared me too. As I got older, and I don't fear when my death will eventually take me.
  The alternate to eventually dying someday is living forever. When you think about what infinite life would truly be like, that is MUCH closer to any definition of hell I've ever heard of. I'm happy to go into multiple theoretical scenarios of this, each more horrific than the next. Those that say they want to live forever lack imagination. Death isn't something to fear. At the end of a long life, it is a gift.
  
  You already know what this is like.
  No I don't. I did not exist. Let me repeat: time flows in one direction. Had I never existed, I'd not ahve to one day face oblivion. I resent being brought into a finite pointless existence.
  The alternate to eventually dying someday is living forever. When you think about what infinite life would truly be like, that is MUCH closer to any definition of hell I’ve ever heard of. I’m happy to go into multiple theoretical scenarios of this, each more horrific than the next. Those that say they want to live forever lack imagination. Death isn’t something to fear. At the end of a long life, it is a gift.
  Eventual death of myself and everyone I know and love renders every act extremely pointless. If living forever would be hell, then it is even worse that I have been born because there isn't even a theoretical outcome to my existence that would not be existentially awful.
  That said, obviously if I were to live forever, I'd want everyone I care about to live forever. And I'd want our existence to be one of contentment and enjoyment. This would still be worse than never having existed, but its the next best thing.
  
  Bruh
  
  Surely hope your child won't happen to be depressed or traumatized in some way. That would be really cringe after all. 😑
  
  Surely hope your child won’t happen to be depressed or traumatized in some way.
  We're not talking about "in some way" here. The piece you're clearly responding to is my point we're talking about how some adults use how their parents treated them as children as a continuing excuse for inaction in adulthood. We're safe though. I have no children and won't be having any.

115 comments