2mo ago

Helping a two years old falling asleep

Our boy turned two and during the last weeks he has trouble falling asleep. He always went to sleep at 9 which was already late. But now he just doesn't fall asleep sometimes until 11.

Even when we try to bring him to bed at 8 it takes also two to three hours for him to fall asleep.

He only let's his mom bring him to bed and then she stays there with him until he falls asleep. Sometimes he asks for me additionally to join and then he rolls in the bed kicks us, climbed on us and so on because he can't fall asleep.

More often than not we fall asleep first and only then he falls asleep. He doesnd go out of the bed or anything just can't fall asleep.

Any tips what worked for your children?

38 comments

Since it sounds like he’s used to you or your wife being there, you can try slowly removing yourself. What we did with our kid is start with a parent sitting or laying next to the bed, then every few days moving a little closer to the bedroom door. We’d still stay until they fell asleep.
Our kid got most anxious when we got to the part where moving put us out of their room, so we did that step a little more slowly where we stayed at the entrance of the bedroom but would have to leave the room for increasingly longer periods of time (go get a book to read, go to the bathroom, etc). They struggle with anxiety in general though, so your kid may not have this hurdle.
We too keep books next to their bed which they can read or look at until they get sleepy. We also have a volcano lamp we turn on at night they can watch.
- That sounds good, but it always takes about 2 hours, so we wouldn't mind staying with him if he just would fall asleep within half an hour ^^
  When his mom tells him she is going to the bathroom he can stay in the room for like 5 minutes but then he wonder what is taking so long and goes out to try to find her.
  The books are a challenge already durin daytime. In the evening he just takes the book from us and throws it away.
  But I think not lying in bed with him as a starter but sitting on a chair we should try. I will propose this.
  
  I'm by far no expert, but I worked with children (aged 0-6) in a children's home. They had to get used to get to sleep alone as there was not enough capacity in the evening to stay with every single kid for a long period of time. (Of course we did everything possible to meet everyone's needs in a lot of different ways) One thing that helped if a kid was anxious when the adult left was to introduce a new plush toy that they chose by themselves. The toy would then get integrated throughout the day whenever the kid was being soothed/ calmed, and it was also verbally integrated...like it had a name that usually the kid chose and we referred to it. You can also make it part of their bed time story if that is part of the bedtime routine. What should happen is that the kid associates the plushie with being calmed. Now the second part: similar to "weaning-away" but together with the toy. As you gradually move away a little more every evening, every time your kid becomes upset, you reassure them you are there but refer to their plushie for comfort like "I'm here, and you can hug the crocodile/ take your crocodile/... (or whatever fits the situation). No big leaps, just gradually moving your location away from their bed...across the room...next to the door...someday in front of the door but doing something quiet outside so they can still hear you reassuring them and redirecting them.
  
  Thanks for this.
  But I'm going to take away one key piece of advice:
  "I'm here, and you can hug the crocodile."
  Taking my kids to the zoo tomorrow, wish me luck!
  
  It’s a tough age. I remember the struggle all too well, and many nights I fell asleep before my kid did. I’m not sure if it’s their chance to control something when so much of their life is out of their control at this age. Hopefully you can find something that works better for all of you

38 comments