17h ago

Advice on finding doctors

New to the community, but lurking for ever and stuck inside my egg for the past decade. I finally hit the wall where I was either going to come out or break down. So far, I'm super lucky to have a fantastic and understanding spouse who has my back, but that's literally the extent of my support network. I've always been pretty shy and impersonal, so I have a very tiny friend group. That said, I'm over 40 and can't wait to transition any longer. I just can't seem to find any physicians in my area that I don't think will either deny me care or treat me like I'm a liar. I'm fine with going straight to an endochrinoligist and signing an informed consent, but I really think I should see a therapist or counselor about some things I've been struggling with. I'm just having a difficult time of knowing who I can and can't trust, and I don't really have anyone around to ask. The only out transfem I know is a professional acquaintance and I'm way too scared to out myself to her yet. I've gone through most of the publicly available lists and tools for finding practitioners but they either don't take my insurance or don't cover my area. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I want to get started so badly because I feel like I already missed out on so much of life as my true self, but the roadblock now seems to be that I can't even trust my family physician to know who I really am.

You're viewing a single thread.

22 comments

I'm in a similar situation, over 40 and just starting the process.
A lot will depend on where you live and your insurance situation. I decided to start with finding a therapist. I have an employer-funded Aetna plan that offers enhanced gender-affirming benefits, but I will need to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis if I want to claim things like hair removal and surgeries.
I haven't tried going to an endocrinologist first, but if I did, I would find an LGBT+ clinic. They are pretty common in larger cities.
- Thank you for the advice! I'm on a weirdly hepful but also restrictive FEP Blue program. They cover basically nobody around me. P.S. I like your username!
  
  Thanks! The random word generator must have known I was into Star Trek. I admit I looked up that registry number when I saw your post. I hope you're sleeping well. No one going on about eyes in the dark and one moon circling when you try to sleep?
  Have you tried Alma? My therapist takes my insurance, but it's through Alma. It wasn't clear that they took insurance on their website.
  Maybe try to find a psychiatrist instead? With them being an MD, they might work better with insurance.
  
  Heh, I don't sleep well. Too many worries and mental battles over dysphoria vs. being out. And I feel like I'm still stuck in that rift. The username felt appropriate, since Miranda is on my shortlist for possible names, too!
  Alma
  I hadn't looked at that yet. Thank you for pointing it out!
  
  Eyyy, same insurance. FEP Blue AKA BCBS AKA Anthem AKA Elevance Health now apparently? Almost nobody lists FEP blue specifically but they do list the other names, if that helps
  
  Yes, sort of. In this area it's Horizon. FEP seems to just be a branch of whatever the regional blue cross and/or blue shield is. I have been using their "Find a Doctor" tool to tell who's in-network after finding people on the lists like pridecenter.org or outcare or WPATH, but so far nobody's been covered.

22 comments