1mo ago

Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity

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His friends arranged it. There is no moral issue for the hospital or staff.
- The moral issue would be with the prostitute for sleeping with a minor I thought
  
  Its not like it could mess up the kids life. There never was any harm to be done in this particular case.
  
  the ONLY thing that I find gives me a side step was the statement:
  "it demeans women and reduces the sexual act to just being a physical act"
  I think it has some merit. Though I didn't actually pick up on the gender of the prostitute (I guess we're all assuming). It still breaks the importance of the emotional connection to a sexual partner as you're learning about early adulthood. I don't think real harm came to the boy in this instance particularly, but I couldn't imagine being that sex worker. I would do it, but shit, that's gotta follow you a little bit your entire life and something you would always think about. Probably would be my last "John" to be honest.
  The other harm comes from people reading the article, especially young boys. It encourages the mindset that the sex act is the important thing one must conquer, not opening up and being vulnerable to a partner to share that experience with. It's super fucking tough though, like finding him just a date would be better but all the implications of what that would entail for the people involved is just heartbreaking.
  
  Sex isn't always just a physical act, but it certainly can be. I've for sure had meaningless sex just for the fun of it. It isn't some sacred act. If for you it always has an emotional component, that's cool. It doesn't for everyone though. To say it's demeaning is implying that particular view is the only acceptable one, and it isn't. That quote came from a clergyman IIRC though, and he's welcome to his opinion, but it shouldn't be used to imply his view is the "correct" one.
  
  Definitely agree and not trying to promote clergy mentality lol. I wasn't saying it was correct or demeaning, just gave me a side step because we're talking about a young boy and losing his virginity. I think sex work should be legalized across the board, but I doubt you would find many people that would encourage it to be available for a 15 year old or that it should be everyone's first sexual experience. There's a lot of mental and developmental problems that can come from sex being viewed as a transaction if the proper level of maturity isn't there.
  Would be nice if we had actual data to look at or the opinions of the people in that field, if it was legalized we could actually have a discussion instead of pearl clutching or just anecdotal thoughts.
  
  I agree with you, except that this kid was dying. It doesn't really matter if they weren't fully mentally developed, and it also doesn't matter if they end up viewing sex in a way we think is bad. It can't hurt anything. They aren't going to grow up and have issues from the experience.
  For a healthy 15 year old, yeah it isn't ideal. For a terminally I'll one, the only one who could be harmed long-term is the prostitute.
  
  It encourages the mindset that the sex act is the important thing one must conquer, not opening up and being vulnerable to a partner to share that experience with.
  So, um, dont take this the wrong way but that sounds like a female viewpoint, am I correct?
  If I'm right, what you cant know viscerally is that 15 year old males are unlikely to appreciate that level of nuance and I dont think its a viable target to expect that from them. The hormones rage extremely hard at 15-- its not a matter of willingness, but one of irretrievably stolen focus. A 15 year old male's response to stimulus is extraordinary and singular. What you look for comes after age 28 or so. Maybe I'm not average in this regard but I think its fairly universal for my peers as well.
  
  Am male, stupidly so and grew up in the south where an active sex life as a youthful-lad was encouraged and I definitely filled that role. I concur that what you've said is the most common perception in our circles and definitely in western media as a whole. After getting older and actually talking to people about their childhoods and those from other areas of the world, I don't believe it to be a "destined/hormone raging" outcome that's necessary, but often taught/learned from peers.
  If it was, we wouldn't be encouraging male individuals to find an outlet for their anger besides violence. You're also completely scapegoating like females don't have urges or hormones of which they have to battle with. There's whole societies out there that don't have the problems we run into because of our views on sexuality (but come with their own side effects like loneliness or low birth rates). It's also individualistic, everyone has different things they're dealing with on puberty and chemical changes. The fact that all males get the "it's hormones" excuse should be a red flag automatically that triggers further evaluation.
- The hospital staff wanted to raise money themselves to hire a prostitute for him, so yes, there very clearly was a moral question for them to consider, even if in the end they didn't go through with it personally.
  
  ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
  The key words are "to do", which they didn't. Nothing to "still" be at odds about.
  
  Ethical and moral issues can be considered in the abstract.
  Self reflection is an important part of growth.
  
  So a moral issue is suddenly not a moral issue if you make the choice that u/someguy3 considers to be right?
  The hospital staff still had a moral issue to consider.
  
  The problem with many ethical delimmas is time. Inaction, whether intentional or introduced by debating what is 'right' can still cause harm.
  "If we wait around long enough, this problem will no longer be a problem." -Many medical ethics boards

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