I just had my account deactivated from Discord for ToS violation (I didn't do anything wrong, I just tried to send a friend request), but that's not the most important thing.
Now that I no longer have an account, and I've been wanting to leave Discord for a while for a better, self-hosted, open-source alternative, this is the best time.
I know of Matrix, XMPP servers and applications that work very well, but none of them work in the same way, or have the same feel as Discord. I see more alternatives for professional use than for gamers or communities.
Revolt exists, but last time I checked, you can't really host it yourself, and I haven't read good things about it. (I don't remember the website listing all the negative aspects.)
That brings me to my two questions.
Can you list some alternative to Discord that I probably don't know ?
If you want a alternative to Discord, what are your requirements to using it ? I'm not saying I can or will, but I think I can try to create one.
PS: I already trying to get my account back (but I have the same response from the support and I can't send request to "Appeals & Age Update Requests" because of ToS violation) and even if I manage to get it back I really want to leave discord right now.
There indeed was an alternative called Revolt. Idk if it's still maintained. Though I had quite bad experience with it so can't recommend. Another alternative is Guilded which seems dead in terms of development but it has an active (and very small) user base. I think it can even be self-hosted. But ultimately you need to be ready for changes if you want to leave Discord. There's nothing quite like it, especially in terms of convenience and popularity.